Awakening

[Kyle Winters]

Kyle came round and found himself staring at a high ceiling, much higher than the one at his dorm. At the top edge of his vision, light streamed in through a row of tall windows, and to his right there was a blue curtain. There was a bit of background noise too, just enough to sound comforting without being droning or irritating. In fact, it was somewhat hypnotic. The bed he was lying on was nice and soft too, so he just lay there, too tired to want to move, and his eyelids grew heavier and heavier…

… and he jolted awake abruptly. The same view greeted his eyes, reminding him that he was still at the Hospital Wing. How long have I been here? he wondered. Hang on… how did I even get here? His mind was still hazy, but gradually the vague memories came back. He remembered the fire by the Great Lake, the boggart, the Auror saving him and helping him back to the castle, and the Healer attending to him before he drifted off to sleep. And that manky tasting draught. Ugh… Just thinking of it made him shudder involuntarily, and he gagged as he sensed a phantom foul taste in his mouth.

Water. He sat up and winced as a dull ache in his chest suddenly made itself known to him. Giving himself a quick once over, he found that, apart from the aforementioned ache, a parched throat and some minor scratches on his arms, he seemed otherwise fine. Comforted by that knowledge, he looked around and spotted a pitcher of water and an empty glass on the bedside table to his left. Beside the pitcher were a couple of letters, and – curiously – a plate of cauldron cakes under a glass cloche.

Also by the bedside table were his prosthesis and crutches. The former looked pristine and in a far better shape than he probably did right now, despite having gone through the entire ordeal with him. Someone must have taken the effort to clean it up. He didn’t see his liner or nylon sock anywhere though, and he made a mental note to look for them in a bit.

Easing over towards the left edge of the bed, he poured himself a glass of water before opening the first letter. It was from Trent, and he took a sip from his glass just as his eyes fell upon the second sentence.

“You've been asleep for days.”

In his shock, the water went down the wrong way and promptly sparked a horrendous coughing fit. The noise reverberated throughout the Hospital Wing, and by the time the coughing subsided, his lungs were burning and his throat was raw and feeling worse than before.

Mentally cursing at himself for his carelessness, Kyle re-read the line again, as though it would miraculously turn into something more believable. But the truth simply stared back at him, stubbornly refusing to change. Chuffing hell… he thought to himself. Had he really been out cold for days?

“You’re awake,” a voice suddenly said unexpectedly. Kyle jumped at the sound, and found that it was only the healer who had arrived to check in on him. “How are you feeling?” they asked, taking the glass from him and setting it down on the beside table. Miraculously most of the water was still in the glass, and only a bit had spilled onto the ground.

“Lungs, throat hurt bit,” Kyle managed in a raspy voice, using as few words as he could to not aggravate his hoarse throat any further.

The healer nodded as they began to examine him. “You’re recovering well,” they concluded as they smiled reassuringly at Kyle and patted his shoulder. “You just need a bit more rest.” With that, the healer left to attend to other matters, and Kyle retrieved the glass of water and sipped cautiously, careful not to repeat his earlier mistake. Ah… The sensation of the cool water soothing his parched throat was pure bliss. Just as he was about to return his attention to the letters, he thought he heard the sound of approaching footsteps and turned to look.

[Anwen Sawyer]

Days, it had been only days since Kyle was brought to the hospital wing. However, for Anwen it felt like months, maybe even years. It had been excruciating to see Kyle laying in the bed unable to wake. Anwen felt helpless, but she came everyday, read to him and showed him some of the pictures she had taken. She even left the one of him on the quidditch pitch on his bedside. It had been a glorious day, the day she officially became friends with Kyle (and maybe developed a bit of a crush).

Wen had barely slept, hadn't really ate much over the past few days. She spent most, if not all of her free time at Kyle's bedside. They had to kick her out most nights as she sometimes refused to leave. Her studies were suffering a bit, but she didn't care. A friend, a true friend, she didn't have a lot and she knew that she cared about Kyle.

Her head rested on the side of the bed, and her eyes were closed as she softly snored a bit. It wasn't until her stomach growling loudly and sending a sharp pain of hunger through her belly that she woke. Food, she needed it but she didn't want to leave him. She had no other choice though, she couldn't allow herself to be placed in the bed next to him just because she wasn't eating.

After grabbing a quick sandwich she raced back up the steps to he hospital wing, taking stairs two at a time. She turned the corner and when she walked inside she dropped her sandwich and let out a yelp. "Ky-kyle?" Her face went pale and she quickly ran her fingers through the tangles of hair on her head.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she stood there, open mouthed and in awe. She quickly tried to brush them away but they kept coming. "You're... awake?!" She smiled through the tears, but waited for an invitation to approach him.

[Kyle Winters]

Did the healer forget something? Kyle thought as he turned to look at the newcomer. His eyes widened in surprised as he recognised her immediately.

“Anwen?”

He wasn’t the only one caught off-guard by the turn of events, for Anwen yelped and dropped her sandwich the moment she saw him. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and she seemed to be smiling and putting up a brave front. Was it something wrong that he did unknowingly?

“Yea, I’m awake. Are you all right?” There was a mix of worry and confusion in his voice as he tried to make sense of what was going on. His mind was still a little clouded from the boggart incident and being unconscious for a few days straight. Belatedly he realised that Anwen was still standing in the middle of the hospital wing. “Do you want to sit down?” he invited hurriedly, motioning for her to take a seat so that they could speak more comfortably.

Remembering that Anwen had dropped her sandwich earlier, he unknowingly bit as lip as he pondered over what he could do about the situation. There were a couple of cauldron cakes on the bedside table, but he didn’t know who they were from, or if they were even meant for him (they probably were, but he wanted to be sure). Besides, those cakes probably won’t be enough for the both of them. “Are you hungry?” he asked Anwen. “’cause I’m famished. I’m gonna to check with the healer if there’s any food, a proper lunch or summat.” Abruptly he realised that he actually didn’t know what time it was – the beat-up watch he was wearing wasn’t on his wrist when he woke up. “Is it lunchtime? Or are we way past that already? I’ve lost all sense of time.” he admittedly sheepishly.

[Anwen Sawyer]

He looked better than he had when he was first brought in, but he still looked tired and a little rough. It made Anwen's heart hurt as she looked at him. Then again, he was awake and when he said her name a smile formed on her lips. "Kyle!"

Awake, Kyle was awake. She couldn't believe it, she had been waiting for days for him to wake up and now she wasn't even sure what to do now. She nodded her head at his question. "I should be asking you that. You...you unconscious for days and I...." She frowned slightly and tried to hold back the fears she had while he was out. She didn't want to scare him or make him feel bad.

She wrung her hands together as she made her way over to his bed. After taking a seat gently next him, she turned to him. She tried to resist throwing her arms around him, biting into her lower lip and letting out a soft sigh. "It's nice to see you awake. I...I've missed you." Her lips curl into a small smile and chews on her bottle lip again.

"Hmmm...oh I uh...yes. Hungry, I uh left your bedside to get some food but...the floor seemed to be more hungry than I was. So I too am famished." Her hands her shaking so she tucked them under her legs to try to calm herself down. Her eyes never leave his face. It is almost as if she trying to see that what was happening was real. He was really awake and she wasn't dreaming again.

It was then that she couldn't hold back anymore. She threw her arms around him and took a deep breath as if feeling him solidifying that he is really there and she wasn't dreaming. "I was so worried about you!" she sobs into his shoulder trying desperately to catch her breath and calm down. But the tears wouldn't stop. She had held it back for so long and it was pent up and now the flood gates were open. Happiness, worries and fears all came forward.

[Kyle Winters]

Anwen assured Kyle that she was all right, and turned his question back to him; after all, he was the one who had been slumbering for days on end. “I’m fine, I think,” he replied with a smile, hoping that would assuage her concerns. “Don’t worry; I’ve been through way worse than this.”

When Anwen said that she missed him, his mind went blank for a moment – and presumably his face too. It hadn’t occurred to him before that anyone would miss him while he was recovering at the Hospital Wing. Unexpected as it was, that knowledge was very… comforting. “I… um…” he began, and immediately found himself unsure of what to say in this unfamiliar situation. Involuntarily the tips of his ears reddened; he was very much unused to getting such attention from someone else. “Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before,” he revealed shyly.

He chuckled when Anwen joked about the floor being more famished than she was. “I’ll get us some food then,” he said. He was about to reach for his crutches when he noticed that there was something off about Anwen’s expression. Her eyes had been on him all this while, and it seemed as though she was trying to hold something in—

Abruptly she flung her arms around him, holding him tightly as though he’d disappear or evaporate into thin air if she didn’t. Her tears flowed freely as she sobbed. Stunned and completely taken aback by her sudden outpouring of emotions, he froze briefly, unsure of how to react before putting his arms around her and gently patting her back. “It’s all right,” he said as reassuringly as he could. “I’m here. I’m here.”

How would he have felt if the situation were to be reversed, and she was the one recovering at the Hospital Wing instead? She was important to him, that he was certain, but he hadn’t realised how much he mattered to her. Not until now, anyway. All along he had assumed that she was closer to her fellow Hufflepuffs, instead of some random Slytherin boy – and one from a different year too.

Brushing aside his rumination that was going nowhere, he continued to hold on to and comfort her, until she was feeling better. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised solemnly. The atmosphere seemed a bit too heavy, and in an attempt to lighten the mood, he added jokingly, “Well, definitely not like this, and without my leg or crutches.”

[Anwen Sawyer]

She smiled at him and nodded when he said he was fine. It didn't really reassure her though as he said he had been through worse. She hoped he wouldn't have to go through things like this anymore. He was a good person and didn't deserve the bad things that happened to him. "If you're sure...I just don't want bad things to happen to you, Kyle." She pursed her lips and sort of leaned into him subconsciously.

His face lost a little color and his expression went blank. She looked at him and quickly grabbed his hand. "Kyle? Are...are you okay?" He then began to speak. She let out a sigh of relief and she relaxed slightly. "Really? No one?" She frowned and squeezed his hand. "Well, I....I missed you. I was worried and...I...er...I care about you." She smiled shyly and bit the edge of her lip.

A smile spread across her lips when he said he would get them food. But now, food was the last thing from her mind. Her friend was awake and he was okay. Thankfully, he was okay. Now all she could think about was how much she truly did care for him. Sure, they didn't know each other that well yet, but the thought of her not having him in her life scared her.

She tried to get her feelings under control as she so bed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry...I just can't imagine you not here. And I wasn't there to help you. I know I shouldn't being acting like this since you're the one that was...here in the hospital wing but I am so glad you're okay!!" She pulled her head back without letting him go. She smiled at him and hugged him tightly.

I'm not going anywhere. She smiled again and sniffled and wiped her face as she pulled back slowly. When he made the joke she giggle slightly before gently pushing his shoulder. "You're silly." she looked up at him and nodded. "I really am glad you're okay, Kyle. And I'm sorry I wasn't there. I wish I had been. I don't want bad things to happen to you, you're a kind person, a good person. You don't deserve the things that happen to you like this. If there is anything I can do....let me know okay?"

She brushed a piece of hair from his face and found herself staring at his lips. Her cheeks started to redden as she realized she was staring at them and quickly looked away. "So about that food...." Trying to take the attention off her.

[Kyle Winters]

Anwen didn’t seem completely at ease when Kyle said that he had been through worse. Which, come to think of it, was completely logical, but with his still-foggy brain he hadn’t came to that conclusion quicker. “They say everything happens for a reason,” Kyle shrugged as he broke eye contact and cast his gaze downwards. Though his legs were still underneath the sheets, he could make out their outlines and where his right leg ended prematurely. His thoughts drifted to that fateful day four years ago, on the tenth of July. The triple whammy of learning that his friend was gone, his leg had been amputated, and his own father almost killed him for being a decent human instead of a bloody bigot… that had been the absolute lowest point in his life. And while he had become a much stronger and better person as a result (or at least, he hoped he had), it had taken almost everything in him to climb out from that deep, dark pit of despair.

He couldn’t disagree with her: regardless of the eventual outcome, it was still terrible to see someone go through something like that. And so he nodded pensively. “I… Thank you,” he said finally with a weak smile that barely concealed the turbulent thoughts in his mind. His troubles were his own to bear, and he didn’t want to burden anyone else with them, especially those whom he cared about.

When Anwen squeezed his hand and said that she was worried for and cared about him, he placed his other hand over hers and returned the squeeze. “I know,” he replied. “I’m sorry I made you worried. I’ll be more careful from now on, I promise.” He thought of joking about how he wouldn’t be opening any suspicious-looking cabinets that he might come across in future, but stopped himself in time. His brow furrowed as it dawned upon him how suspicious the whole incident had been. Why had an abandoned cabinet suddenly appeared by the Great Lake out of the blue? Did anyone else know about it? Had it been planted there deliberately as a trap or something? He didn’t know, and in light of that it seemed prudent to not discuss it openly with anyone else yet before he informed the school authorities and the Aurors. “Sorry, I’m still feeling a bit out of sorts,” he said, quickly spinning a white lie to cover up for his earlier hesitation.

The stupid joke seemed to work at lightening the mood, though there was still a lingering sense of poignance that hung in the air. When Anwen asked him to let her know if there was anything she could do, Kyle nodded. “Sure,” he said, even though he knew deep down inside that there was little anyone else could do. This was his own fight, his own struggle to come to terms with everything that happened and move on with his life. But he appreciated her concern nonetheless. “Actually… you being here for me is more than enough,” he added, and the faint hint of a smile reappeared on his lips as he realised that there was something she could do, and in fact had already done, for him. “I don’t mean physically, as in, right beside me, but just knowing that I’m on your mind: that’s enough to keep me going.”

At the renewed mention of food, Kyle’s stomach answered for him with an embarrassingly loud growl. “Let me see if there’s anyone around,” he said sheepishly, before getting up and hopping towards the middle of the room. But there was nobody else in sight, save for the other patients, so he hopped back to his bed. It was only then did Kyle realise that he must have looked quite silly to Anwen, bouncing around like a bunny instead of using his crutches. “Don’t mind me, I do this a lot at home and in the dorm.” As he tried to think of a solution to the conundrum they were in, his eyes fell upon the plate of cauldron cakes on the bedside table. He had no idea who the cakes were from – he hadn’t had the time to read the cards beside the plate – but the solution was so conveniently presented to him that he couldn’t ignore it.

“Would you like to have a cauldron cake first?” he asked Anwen, bringing the plate over to her and lifting up glass cloche. “I’ll go a bit further and see if I can’t find someone who can help us.”

[Anwen Sawyer]

Ugh, she was being awkward again. She mentally kicked herself and looked away when he did. She didn't know how to act around someone she cared so much for. It wasn't like she had a lot of experience with boys. Her brother always teased her about how she had the body of a twelve year old boy and no one would ever want to date her. So far he had be right, so why would this time be any different. No, Kyle was a good looking...ah he was handsome and he wouldn't be interested in the likes of someone like her. He probably saw her as a friend, just as all the other boys had. Lorin was right, girls with an hour glass figure were the ones would get all the attention. Not girls who looked like she did.

When she pulled herself out of her own self loathing, she saw the something in his eyes. Was it pain? No, not physical at least. He had been through so much and although she didn't know the full story as to what had happened, why he had lost his leg or he s tragic backstory. She knew that he was a strong person and deserved better than he was getting.

"Kyle...I know that er...that you have been through a lot. I mean, I don't know know exactly what you have been through in the past. I just...I want you to know that no matter what, I'm here. You don't have to feel like you're a burden or that you can't talk to me about stuff. Bottling things up isn't healthy and we are...f-friends...?" She wanted him to be aware that he didn't have to hide things from her just to protect her or to spare her the Gory details. "I guess what I mean is...I want to know everything about you...at least everything you are comfortable sharing with me and none of what you tell me will change my opinion about how you are a good person....cute too." She all but mumbled the last bit and her cheeks turned red again as she looked down at her hands.

She nodded and felt the heat in her cheeks as he placed his hand over hers. "It's alright. I think most of it is my own guilt, not being there when...well when you needed someone to be there."

She chuckled nervously and nodded. "You're on my mind a lot actually." Her eyes popped open in a wide expression and she covered her mouth quickly. "Oh! I mean that...oh goodness..." She was so silly. What if he didn't feel the same way. He would think she was crazy. "Sorry....I'm just glad that I can be there for you."

She smiled as he got up and looked around for someone. It didn't even phase her when he didn't use his crutches or anything to assist him. "I don't mind at all. You're up and about and that is incredible."

She smiled and nodded grabbing a cake from the plate. "This will do just fine." She then realized he hadn't seen the picture she had taken on the pitch yet. With a full bite of cake in her mouth she exclaimed excitedly, "Did you fee...the picfurr I toof of you..." She giggled and swallowed the bite before reaching past him and grabbed the framed photo and offered it to him. "I developed it...and left it here for you..."

[Kyle Winters]

The more Kyle tried to keep his troubles to himself so as to not impose them on Anwen, the more concerned she became about him instead. In the past most people did not respond in this manner; they were usually satisfied with a false reassurance from him that he was all right. She was different, as though she had seen straight through him and knew that deep inside he wasn’t okay. Nor did she pretend to understand his pain or heap words of empty encouragement on him or praise him for being strong when he really wasn’t, and instead honestly admitted that while she didn’t know what he had been through, he could still share his burdens with her.

Her words reminded him somewhat of Rohaan, his late best friend who always knew the right thing to say – not to make him feel better, but rather to validate his feelings and acknowledge that his struggles were real and not something that could be easily resolved. But there was something else that made all the difference. As boys there had always been a societal expectation for them to always be strong and conceal their weaknesses, so they had never truly been completely open and honest with each other about what they were going through. They only knew that they each had their own demons to fight, and maybe dropped a few hints here and there... but that was about it. Yet here Anwen was, telling him that it was all right to be vulnerable and speak freely about his struggles. How many times had he wanted so badly to pour his heart out to someone who would be able to understand – or at least empathise with – what he was going through… but he had never been able to find the right person, someone who would be able to handle everything he would say without judging him or running away.

Perhaps Anwen could be that person. Kyle nodded somewhat hesitantly when she said that it wasn’t healthy to bottle up his feelings. He knew that was true, but when it came to such matters he was downright terrible at taking his own advice. Furthermore, while they were friends, he hadn’t even been able to come clean with Rohaan back then. He was starting to have second thoughts about it when Anwen assured him that her opinion of him wouldn’t change because of anything he said. He nodded again, but with more confidence this time, and he was even able to meet her eyes.

The last bit came completely out of the blue, and his face and ears quickly turned a deep crimson. Did she just say that he was… cute? Maybe he had misheard it, but the way she looked shyly away as she blushed suggested otherwise. “I…” he stuttered, his mind blanking out as he tried in vain to think of something to say. “I… um…” Right then, his heart took the reins instead, and the words came out before he realised what he had said. “I’ll… I’ll tell you what happened, I promise. Not now, but someday.” As the realisation of what he had just uttered sunk in, his heart began to pound furiously. It was difficult enough to come clean to himself, much less another person, but he had already given his word. “I promise I will,” he repeated, a reaffirmation for himself that he wouldn’t go back on it.

When Anwen said that she had felt guilty for not being there for him, he quickly reassured her that it was enough for him that he was on her mind. But as she revealed that he was on her mind a lot, it was his turn to feel guilty. Just like the way he felt that nobody really understood what he was going through, he wasn’t sure how he could help others around him who had issues of their own to grapple with. As a result, he had always thought that one had to fight their battles alone… but it seemed that it wasn’t necessary the case. At least for him, he had Anwen here by his side. “I–I want to be there for you too… ” he blurted out a little impulsively, but his voice faltered towards the end as it dawned upon him that he didn’t actually know how to do so. His insecurities flared up within him once more, and he tried to suppress the negative feelings; he simply had to move forward one way or another and not let allow himself to be held back by anything anymore. “I know I’m a mess now, but… but I want to do whatever I can for you too.”

After Anwen took one of the cauldron cakes, he took the other and sat down back on the bed again. Her mention of the photo she had taken of him earlier during the school term jolted his memory of the day he had executed that poorly thought-out stunt. Accepting the framed photo from Anwen, he took his first look at his tailslide attempt. In that moment that she had captured, he looked so steady and calm despite the unnaturally and dangerously steep dive. And the right leg of his tracksuit bottoms had come loose, trailing out behind him in a jagged wave that was frozen in time. “Whoa…” he said, fascinated by what he was seeing. “I didn’t know I looked like that when I fly. I’m sure you’d look way cooler if you were in the photo instead.” He looked up and turned to Anwen. “Thank you for the beautiful photo… and for everything today.” His eyes began to moisten as he recalled all that had happened since he had woken up, but he hastily blinked the tears away, still a little uncomfortable with letting too much of his emotions show. “I just feel like I have so much to learn from you. About taking photos. And flying. And being a good and caring person like you.”

[Anwen Sawyer]

Anwen was completely aware of how it was to be shut down, to be told it was all going to be okay. The false support in their own pain and struggles. She could see through the false reassurance and knew that there was something deeper going on. He may not feel comfortable sharing in this moment and that was alright with Anwen but she did want him to know that no matter what happened, what could happen, or what would happen, she would always be there for him. He had a safe place with Anwen. Sometimes it was hard to share feelings with someone and sometimes just a listening ear was needed. She could be that person, she would never give him false hopes, or false encouragement. Nor would she ever downplay his pain.

The fact of the matter was, things were heavy in the world. No matter how hard people tried to add light to the world, there were always dark corners that seeped into the light. She was no fool to the fact that pain was a real part of their life and even though they were just 'kids' they had been through pain, loss, and regret. Anwen didn't know the struggles of what he was going through, but she did know her own. Her family loved her dearly sure, but there was always that you're just a girl. They never really expected too much from her, especially since they thought she was an oddball and would never be serious enough to hold down a steady job. They just expected her to meet a man that would take care of her the rest of her life, have a bunch of babies, and be the cute little stay-at-home mommy that would be arm candy for her husband. Did she want children? Of course, she did, at least she thought she might, well maybe...who knew? Maybe she wouldn't even have children but who was it for her family to tell her what she was going to become without even a thought of what she wanted? Instead of saying something though, she bottled it all up and kept it to herself, because when she had tried to share what she was going through with her friend Lorin, she laughed at the fact that her family thought she would be able to attract male attention. The pain wasn't the same, but she could still see it behind her eyes, because she had seen it plenty of times in her own.

When his eyes met hers, she offered him a gentle kind smile. Her face softened and she nodded back to him. Life had its difficulties but it could be easier with someone to share it with. As his face turned a deep crimson, she knew full well that he had heard what she had said about him being cute. She hadn't been able to look back at him since then, but when he promised he would tell her someday, she looked back at him. "That's all I can ask for, Kyle." She leaned forward, without thinking, and kissed his cheek. When she pulled back she bit into her lip.

"You're not a mess, Kyle." She leaned towards him slightly and rested her hand on his arm. "And I appreciate it as well. I...to be honest, haven't really had anyone like that before." She felt her cheeks flush and she looked away quickly brushing away a tear that threatened to fall down her cheek. "We can be here for each other, as much as we can."

She quickly shook her head and smiled. "No, no. Don't disregard yourself like that. You look amazing...always. I just captured the reality that was happening at that moment. Sure, you may have had your heart in your throat..." Like she did right now. "But this is you. You look absolutely stunning on a broom and wh-when you're not." She looked up at him, her entire face a bright red but she didn't care. She had to find out if what she felt was real and if he felt it too. "Of course, as I said, I'm here." She sighed softly. "I can learn something from you too Kyle." She couldn't stand it anymore and impulsively leaned forward placing a kiss on his lips. She could feel the heat from his against hers, it was almost like a jolt of electricity passing through their lips. It didn't last long as she pulled back quickly once she realized what she was doing. She looked down at her hands and chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I am so sorry if that was...Unwanted."

[Kyle Winters]

Kyle’s promise that he would tell Anwen about the incident that turned his entire life upside down seemed to be enough for her. Right now he still wasn’t ready, but he would have to open up about it if he wanted to overcome his negative feelings and move on.

But there was something else he wasn’t prepared for; out of the blue, Anwen suddenly leaned over and pecked him on his cheek. It took him completely by surprise, and for a few moments he didn’t know what to do except to smile awkwardly at her. He had feelings for her, but due to his low self-esteem he had never entertained any thoughts about acting upon them, much less think about how to express them.

Even as Anwen assured him that he wasn’t a mess, he couldn’t quite completely shake off that tiny nagging voice in his head that kept beating himself down. But when she added that she, like him, didn’t really have anyone whom she could depend on, his heart ached for her. She had always seemed to carefree and confident and comfortable in her own skin to him, but she had her own struggles too that he wasn’t aware of. “Aye, as much as we can,” he repeated as he placed his other hand over hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He’d need to learn to be stronger, not only for himself but also for Anwen.

When Anwen said that he looked amazing, his first instinct was to deny it. But it felt rude to turn down the compliment, so he accepted it with a bashful smile. She added that he looked stunning when he wasn’t on a broom too, and initially her words went over his head before they clicked. Instantly he began to blush, and had to look away for a second to compose himself. Returning his gaze to her, he realised that her face was reddening too. Did she feel the same way towards him? Almost immediately the little voice in his head shot down the notion. No, it can’t be… In spite of everything Anwen had done – and was doing – for him, deep inside he still couldn’t completely shake off the sense that he wasn’t worthy of her affection. “No, the credit goes to you. You’re a right good photographer who can make anything and anyone look great,” he said with a warm smile that concealed how he was truly feeling inside as he redirected her compliment back to her.

Those conflicted feelings were still churning inside of him as Anwen said that there were things she could learn from him too. What kind of things? he wondered as his lack of self-esteem reared its ugly head yet again. But the thought was derailed abruptly as Anwen leaned in towards him again, this time planting a kiss directly on his lips. His mind went completely and utterly blank at the sudden and unexpected show of affection before going into a whirl. Opening his mouth, he tried to say something, but nothing came out. His brow furrowed as he struggled to gather his jumbled thoughts and reconcile what Anwen did with his negative perception of himself. Having never been in such a situation before, he didn’t know what he should say, what he wanted to say, or whether he should even say them in the first place.

Eventually, he found his voice again upon hearing Anwen’s apology. “N–no, it w–wasn’t,” he stammered hurriedly to assuage her worry. “I… I…” For a while more he fumbled while his chaotic thoughts continued to swirl like a maelstrom in his head, until he looked up at her again. The sight of her looking uncomfortable was upsetting – just mere moments ago he had promised that he would do whatever he could for her. Steadying his nerves, he gulped before reaching out and putting one tentative arm around Anwen. “I…” he began haltingly, until he finally managed to work up the courage to say what was on his mind. And when he did the words spilled out of him freely. “I… I don’t know if I’m good enough for you. I don’t know what it’s like to love someone because I’ve never fallen in love before. And I don’t know if I know how to love someone when I’m not even sure that I know how to love myself. But what I know is that I want to be with you, Anwen. And I will try my best, whether or not it’s enough, to give you the happiness you deserve.”

There. It was a terribly awkward and clumsy confession, but he had done it somehow. Expectantly he looked at Anwen, into her beautiful amber eyes, not knowing how she would respond and if he was prepared for her answer.

[Anwen Sawyer]

Anwen knew how hard it was to open up to people. She had a way of hiding some of her feelings sometimes because she didn't want to be a burden to people, she didn't want to bring others down when she could be a positive light in their life. She completely could understand why Kyle wasn't ready, for whatever reasons he carried and she wouldn't hold it against him.

She wasn't sure why she had done it, but it felt right and she hadn't even really thought about it. Ever since the beginning of the school year, she had this pull toward Kyle. He was kind, caring, and had a way about him that she rather enjoyed. She cared about him, and knew they were friends but she wasn't sure how to express that she wanted more. Except in the subtle hints that she had dropped throughout the year. He hadn't really reciprocated them and was fully expecting to put in the friend zone as she most often was. However, with Kyle it was different, she couldn't stop the little things that she did, she hadn't felt this way about anyone, not really. Not until Kyle came along that is.

She smiled at him as he spoke, and a reddish tint hit her cheeks when he placed his other hand over hers and gave it a small squeeze. It was probably just a reassuring friendly gesture, but she couldn't help but feel the connection they had, from the top of her head down to her fingertips. "Yes, as much as we can." She stated simply and took in a deep breath before looking back at his face. He really was something, and she couldn't help but think he deserved so much more than what he was getting. Perhaps she wasn't even good enough for him. There was always that nagging feeling in the back of her mind as well.

She scoffed and shook her head quickly. "Not at all, there is only so much I can do with a camera. I have to have a...erm...handsome model to get that finished product." She gestured toward the image before biting down into her lip. She had just come out of her shell and now it was word vomit spewing from her mouth. He wouldn't just take the compliment, which meant he wasn't really used to getting them. She made a mental note to herself and would take that to heart. More compliments so he could know how they really felt on a regular basis. He was the kind of person that should really know how spectacular he was, even if he didn't see it himself.

As he sat there in silence after she kissed him, her mind raced. What he would say, how he would take it. If he would let her down gently or just say something like 'that's disgusting.' She chewed on the inside of her cheek and looked down at her hands waiting for the rejection she was sure would come when he found the words. She closed her eyes and took in a breath waiting for the words to tear at her ears and rip apart her heart. But those words didn't come...

She looked up at him, her face filled with worry and confusion. He was trying so hard to get the words out and as he tried to speak, her heart raced faster and faster. His arm was warm and so very much welcomed. She leaned into him slightly, looking up at him through her eyelashes. His words hit harder than a rejection ever could. Never fallen in love? Nor had she, but he wasn't sure how to love himself. "Oh...well, Kyle. First off, you don't give yourself enough credit. Second of all, you are more than enough for me. You have done more for me in the past few months than most people have done my whole life." She cleared her throat to finish her thought. " And, you not loving yourself is something we will work on, but in the meantime, I will just show you how wonderful you are and that you and I deserve happiness. I want to be with you too...I think you're...well, I think you're the bee's knees." She grinned and threw her arms around him. "I've never even been looked at by a boy, the way you look at me, so dating hasn't even been in my vocabulary until today."

[Kyle Winters]

H–handsome model? Him? Anwen’s compliment came out of the blue, and Kyle started a little. He had never ever heard himself being described as such before. He didn’t particularly quite like the way he looked either: though his features resembled his mother’s more, he still looked similar enough to his father for him to be sensitive about his appearance.

There was no way Anwen would have known how he felt inside, so he tried to take the compliment in stride and not overthink it that much. Somehow or another he managed a weak smile to hide his discomfort, although for a moment there was something in his eyes that betrayed his thoughts.

After he had blurted out his clumsy confession, his heart was racing as he waited with trepidation for Anwen’s reaction. But his worries were unfounded, for there was nought but kindness in her reply. Hearing how he was more than enough for her, even in his current state, and that both of them deserved happiness… those words elicited an unfamiliar but warm feeling in him, one that he didn’t quite know how to respond to. All along he had always hinged his own happiness on that of others and never really gave too much thought about what he needed or wanted. To hear that he, too, deserved happiness of his own was new, and for a moment he dared to hope that he – no, they – could be happy and have a future together that they wanted.

As Anwen put her arms around him, she revealed that she hadn’t dated before either because nobody had looked at her the way he did. That revelation came as a surprise. Had nobody else noticed how kind and beautiful Anwen was? “H–how…” he started, and belatedly his face began to redden when he realised that Anwen must have already known about how he felt towards her even before he realised it himself. For how long had he been an oblivious lovestuck boy in front of her? “I…” he stammered, but his mind blanked out this time round.

“The boy has not been looked at by a healer since he woke up.”

The sudden interruption made Kyle jump and he almost yelped. As he finally noticed the healer standing a few paces away, his face turned beet red all the up to the tips of his ears. “I—I’m sorry. How long have you been waiting?”

“Not enough to hear everything,” the healer replied with a chuckle. “Now, I really hate to break you two lovebirds apart, but I really need to examine Mister Winters. Pray excuse us for a moment, Miss Sawyer. Don’t you worry, I’ll return him to you.”

[Anwen Sawyer]

She hadn't meant to make Kyle uncomfortable with her compliment, but she was being truthful. She thought he was a very attractive person. If he hadn't been told very often, Anwen would set out to change that. Even if he looked more like his father, he was still his own person and drew his appearance from both parents, not just his father. To resemble was one thing but that didn't make you the person you were.

She pursed her lips and frowned a bit. "I...Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with that...I just thought you should know that I find you...Very pleasant to look at." She sort of blushed and looked down at her hands to try to distract herself. She saw the look in his eye and recognized it because she often had that look as well.

A small smile tugged at her lips as he stumbled over his words. The word how escaped his lips and she shrugged. "I was always told that I have a body of a twelve year old boy...My friend Lorin told me that boys don't like girls without...uh..assets? And riding my personality alone I would play hard trying to find someone with any sort of interest other than friendship." It was harsh and might have been too much to share but she felt comfortable with Kyle so it all just sort of spewed out of her.

Anwen looked over at the healer and jumped up from the bed. "OH! I'm so sorry...I just...I was happy to see he was awake." She looked over at Kyle and smiled.

The word Lovebirds floated around in her ears for a moment before she felt her face get hot and her cheeks turn a bright shade of red. "I uh...of course." She almost leaned in to kiss his cheek but thought that might overstepping. "I'll come by and see you again soon okay? Hopefully you'll be out of here soon. Maybe we could take a walk around the lake?"