Stuck in Limbo

There is a wide flat lawn across the northern part of the castle grounds. Sloping lawns lead south toward the forest and border the lake. Lawns are also where you can find the Gamekeeper's Hut, greenhouses, vegetable patches, and training grounds.
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Stuck in Limbo

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera was sitting on a bench on the front lawn, her back to the school, facing away towards the path towards Hogsmeade. She could walk that way and visit Adeline, but she wasn't sure she had it in her today to deal with that woman's constant optimism. She didn't dislike her, but she could only handle her in doses. She had been staying with her off and on since the mid-summer now that she could speak the language well enough, though Adeline surprised her with knowing enough French to understand the Frech and Creole that she spoke from time to time. It made it easier to communicate but also meant she couldn't get away with saying anything she didn't want her to hear.

Mera sighed heavily, looking down at the books in her lap, the parchment she'd been writing on sticking out in places. She was trying to digest the information the best she could because they wanted her to take these exams the other students her age had taken the year before, but it was all starting to make her head hurt as she tried to digest it. She set the books to the side and leaned forward, putting her head in her hands. She couldn't sleep well without tonics, the nightmares of what she found left of her family flashing in her mind every time she closed her eyes, the look on her father's face... She shook her head, shaking the thoughts away, muttering under her breath before rubbing her forehead.

The tonics didn't do much to make the sleep feel restful so she was exhausted and more unaware of her surroundings than she was aware of. Though, one might be remiss to surprise her. Not that anyone knew much about her, it wasn't like the school had shared her history, she didn't think they'd even shared where she was from. Which she was fine with.
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

She loved the outdoors, being outside was always preferable to being trapped in a classroom all day long. The breaks they got from classes were few and far between unless it was a holiday break or some big school event. So Iliana took these little moments whenever she could to take a breather and enjoy the fresh air. Wandering around the grounds she spotted the figure sitting out on the bench alone surrounded by books and parchments, reminding her a lot of herself in a way.

It wasn’t a 7th year she was sure of that but she could certainly make out the signs of study burn out even from some distance, school was hard. It would be harder still for her if she hadn’t learned from her Aunt’s incessant pushing that sometimes you needed a break, even if you didn’t want one or convinced yourself you couldn’t take one. Making her way towards the other girl she didn’t hide her approach but she didn’t seem to notice her at all which only served to convince her that her original line of thought was probably right, burnout right around the corner. “There’s no rule against taking a breather ya know?”

Ili smiled softly when the other girl looked at her and she gave her a little friendly wave before she continued motioning to all the stuff around her, “If you push when you’re already feeling burnt out it can make it even worse. I learned that one the hard way… along with the month it took my eyebrows and lashes to regrow.” Moving a bit closer she extended a hand now that she could see her face. She knew this young woman from their House but she’d just never gotten the chance to speak to her one on one. “Iliana, but you can call me Ili or Ana…” Most chose one shortened version of her name or the other, it didn’t bother her.
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera had zoned out a bit and jumped as a voice came seemingly out of nowhere, nearly dropping the book in her lap. She turned to look sharply at the girl who had come up to her, tense like a cornered cat at first. Then, realizing she meant not harm, her shoulders relaxed. Hearing her story, Mera realized she might understand a bit of what she was going through. Slowly, remembering the etiquette here, she reached out and shook her hand, "Mera," she said shortly, never having been much for words before.

Realizing she should probably add more, "I just feel like I don't know anything about what you all were taught here. They expect me to take some sort of test on all this new information," she reached up and rubbed her temples, "Where I come from, we didn't learn from sitting in a room listening to someone talk at us, we simply were shown and then did," she closed the books and set them to one side of her so that Illiana could sit if she wished. She had a bit of an accent, something akin to French.

She sat back on the bench, staring at the ground with an intensity like she could set it on fire with just her eyes. She was tired and angry and... sad. But she rarely showed the sorrow that built up underneath, the longing to go back to what was familiar...
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Shaking the outstretched hand politely she released it and then motioned to an empty spot beside her before joining her. Listening as she spoke, Ili didn’t miss the slight accent the other girl had and head tilted. It reminded her of her Aunt so maybe French? While she wasn’t sure she store it for later and nodded at her comment, “So you're more used to hands-on learning is what you're saying? That makes sense, I mean many prefer that method.”

Glancing at the books and scrolls and quill Mera had around her Ili shrugged, “Here they prefer to teach theory before practice, but if you're having a hard time doing it that way why not ask? I mean I know a few of the professors would be willing to work with you if it helped you pick up the material or I mean other students…” Looking over what was in front of her, Iliana was fairly certain she recognized the material immediately.

Motioning towards it all she gave a little wave with her hand, “I mean I could help you study but you look like you need a break… even for just a few minutes. All work and no play…” Head tilting some she smiled at her softly, “Tell me about yourself… you have a little bit of an accent that reminds me of my Aunt, she’s French but there’s something else to yours… I can’t place. It’s curious..”

Iliana purposefully let a bit more of her own Russian accent slip, hoping if nothing else it would ease her knowing she wasn’t the only one far from home. Granted Russia hadn’t been home for Ili in a long time but very few knew that fact and even less understood why.
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera nodded to the comment about learning more hands-on, sighing a little, "I've heard that saying quite a bit since I've come here, but it is a ridiculous saying. Why "play" before you've completed what you've set out to do?" she snorted a bit, crossing her arms as she sat back.

When she started asking questions about herself, she caught the accent and glanced over. She was trying to make a sense of equal footing, she supposed, so Mera took a deep breath, "You might say it is a variant of what is now considered French," she said, "My home is near what Muggles call Seychelles. They speak what I've heard is called a kind of Creole. We don't speak it directly, but because it is also based on when the French came into the area, we speak enough similar words to understand each other if we ever have to interact with them, usually to tell them to go away," she shook her head.

"Luckily there are spells that helped me to quickly learn this English so that I would not be completely as they say standing out like a sore thumb. The woman who is my current caretaker taught it to me..." Mera shook her head, "Not that I would have ever bothered prior. My people have never been ones to mingle outside of our home. But my...." her jaw clenched, "My father," she nearly spat the word, "Thought it would be a good opportunity..." she then muttered something under her breath, the word "bête" standing out.
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Ili laughed at her response, “It just means if all you do is work and you don’t stop to take breaks, do something you want to do… you miss out on life. That’s all, or at least that’s what my Aunt says.” And used it on her Uncle to great effect, Iliana had never in her life known anyone who she was absolutely certain could work themselves to death until her Uncle. Her Aunt however managed to drag him out of his office more than anyone else ever and it amused Iliana to no end.

Listening as she answered her question she perked up and smiled, “Really? I’ve heard of Creole but never actually heard it spoken. Now I am curious though how you describe it, it sounds lovely.” Even if she couldn’t understand it, Iliana could appreciate the intonation of different languages. As she continued though it was hard not to miss it, obviously Mera did not want to be there but was forced to come and her smile faded back some.

“Ah… hard to want to embrace it when you’d rather be somewhere else.” Now the frustration, the annoyance and all of it suddenly made so much sense. She caught the word but she wasn’t going to take a guess even if she was sure she’d heard her Aunt use something similar and was pretty sure she at least knew the meaning of it. “When a ‘good opportunity’ is forced, it doesn’t feel so good or like an opportunity…”

Glancing down for a moment she considered what else she wanted to say or could say, “Where I grew up I’d have gone to Durmstrang, I can’t explain how grateful I am to be here instead of there.” But she also knew she’d have accepted that fate if it meant having her parents back too, Iliana didn’t say that though. Rather she focused her attention back to her and decided to get back to the important thing, ”Have you found anything here you enjoy doing?”
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

"I never saw it as a good opportunity, but my mother convinced me to try, that it would be a chance to learn about other magical communities than our own," Mera muttered, "I wonder what she thinks about that now..." she shook her head.

When Illiana asked if she'd found anything she enjoyed doing, she shook her head, "No. But to be honest, I have not been trying," she admitted, "My guardian has tried to get me into painting since that is her outlet, but I cannot say it is something I enjoy yet. Though, to be honest, I did not have much I truly enjoyed doing at home either. I just preferred to be left be, but that is not entirely possible now," she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"I do not mean that in a rude way, I just find some company grating," she added, not wanting Illiana to mistake that she disliked her company, "Namely the students in yellow. They never can seem to mind their own."
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

There was something about the way she said that comment which made Iliana wonder just what perhaps she’d meant but again she felt it wasn’t her place to pry. Obviously the other girl was struggling with being here and she didn’t want to make her even more uncomfortable by asking questions, Iliana understood wanting to keep private things private. When she said she hadn’t bothered to try either here or at home either she pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow, “So perhaps now might be the time to try and find something that makes you happy? Then when you want your alone time to unwind, your guardian might be more inclined to give it to you.”

It made sense to her after all it was the best advice her Aunt had ever given her; so long as she found something that she obviously enjoyed doing no one could really complain when she took time for herself. Her mention of company grating immediately followed by students in yellow made Ili immediately break out into giggles as she shook her head. “Hufflepuffs are often an acquired taste… they can be rather intense, most I have known do generally tend to mean well though in their defense.”

Shrugging her shoulders absently she lifted a hand tucking some of her hair back behind her ear as she continued, “But I can understand coming to an unfamiliar place and already uncomfortable how off putting it would be…” Ili looked thoughtful for a moment folding her hands in her lap before she let her gaze move off towards the vast space around them, “It took me a while to get used to this place, I fear I had more time than you have had though… it is possible if you give it a chance. Perhaps there is a class you enjoy?”
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera listened to Iliana, looking over when she started to laugh at her comment. Hearing her defense of the Hufflepuff students, she muttered, "Li bons voluirs n'ad pas tostem beal issu."

The question about the class had Mera stop for a moment to think, tilting her head, "I believe the classes that I find the most familiar are called.... Herbology and Potions," she said, "Those were things that were familiar as most of our spells and lifestyle back home depended on the land," she explained, "That is why I came out here to study rather than that stuff room full of books as was suggested."

She fished a small book out of her bag, "Adeline, the woman who is my guardian, gave me this. She documented all the herbs that can be found here and where she went on her journies. It has been helpful to know what they are called here as we had different names for some of them," she explained. There were feathers, strings, and other odds and ends sticking out of the pages, which were Mera's versions of bookmarks.
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

When she mentioned which classes she liked Ili nodded a little and smiled, “Herbology is not one of my best subjects but I understand how they instruct it here so at least I might be helpful there. Same with Potions I am afraid, though I am getting a bit better in practice on those.” When she brought out the book Iliana looked it over and looked thoughtful, “That’s a very kind gift I can think of quite a few who would be thrilled with something like that and it seems as though you’ve been busy with it too.”

Motioning to the odds and ends sticking out she continued, “You should try speaking with Professor Fah. Given your preference for the subject I think she might take a shine to you and I believe she does more advanced classes for students who are serious with Herbology which are more hands-on.” Head tilting she looked thoughtful and lifted a hand tapping her chin, “I can’t be sure about Professor Daley but you could ask, if you explain you have an affinity for his class and your previous experience of being more hands on with your learning he might work something out with you.”

If they could make at least a few classes more enjoyable and easier for Mera to handle the work, perhaps that would extend to her other classes as well. At least Ili hoped, she seemed like she might be quite gifted and it was always good to encourage a gifted student. “I don’t know about potions but in the herbology vein, you can wander the gardens and start your own journal about the flowers and plants they grow here too. I know they change with the season, some are very beautiful even if not useful for anything.”
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera listened as she spoke, being respectful of someone she was sure was considered her senior. When she mentioned speaking to the professors directly, she squinted a little a bit as she seemed to think on something, "They will not consider my questions.... " she seemed to struggle to find the right word, "Disrespectful? As if I am saying I do not think their instruction is good enough?" she asked, trying to clarify her concern. She knew some of the elders in the village would be very insulted if she were to push for such things. You learned what they wanted you to learn when they wanted you to learn it. If you didn't want to work at their pace, you had to find someone else.

"Çou ne s'reait mie acceptable en ma contrée," she shook her head before clapping her hands together over the book, "Do you have any suggestions on how to speak to them?" she asked. Then another thought occurred, "Why is that forest considered forbidden?"
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Shaking her head Ili smiled, “No, I mean I don’t see why they would. If you are being genuine, polite and respectful.. Why would any Professor find a student requesting extra practice or work disrespectful? I should think they’d be over the moon that a student takes such an interest in their given subject.” It made sense to her anyway. Head tilting some at her question Iliana looked thoughtful, “I could accompany you if you wished or if it made you more comfortable to ask… as for how I would think, just explain it to them plainly. Be honest with how you learned at home and how you find it easier with some things, ask if perhaps there is some way to facilitate that in ways here so that you might pick up things easier?”

It sounded good in theory at least, who could say no to a student telling them precisely how best they learned after all? Ili hoped no one honestly. When she was tutoring it often made her job that much easier when a student was able to tell her how best they learned then she could tailor her lessons for them and it worked out swimmingly. Blinking at Mera’s next question she glanced in the direction of said forest and gave a little shrug, “The forest is really dangerous… magical creatures that dwell there aside it really isn’t a place for the students. The Game Keeper is really the only one who probably has the first clue as to what all lives there all the time and student trips are supervised.”

Turning her attention back to her she looked thoughtful, “I think it’s a matter of safety mostly… play up the ‘danger’ of the forest to keep any and all younger ones from even thinking about stepping foot in there without adult supervision. Then the school doesn’t have to worry about students potentially getting harmed if they venture out there alone.”
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera hummed a bit as Illi explained why she should be able to ask the professors and the professors not be upset about it. She nodded a bit, "I will try this myself before asking for that," she said before listening to her explanation of the forest. She seemed...unsatisfied with what she said.

"What would be the...punishment for entering the forest?" she asked, looking back over towards it, "I find myself much more curious about what is out there than what is in these books," she waved at the stack as if she could make it go away, "I learn much better by doing."

She looked back at Illiana waiting for the answer to her newest question. Depending on her answer, she might just be willing to deal with it and go explore, "Il i ad sans doute des bonnes substances et des créatures entrestéyantes par dehors."
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Iliana scrunched her nose absently considering her question, “Depends on the severity from what I gather…” She looked thoughtful trying to recall the various punishments she’d heard of in her years from those who had ventured into the forbidden forest without permission. “Loss of house points, a lecture from your head of house, detention… even being expelled if the head of house and headmaster agree it was severe enough to warrant that.”

Finishing up she watched Mera’s face waiting to see any sign of her accepting it wasn’t the wisest idea. When Mera spoke she nodded her head absently before responding, “Oh, il y en a, bien sûr. Mais il est bien plus facile de demander la permission au garde-chasse que de risquer des ennuis.” The language just rolled off her tongue effortlessly before she caught herself and smiled, bowing her head a bit.

“Apologies, habit from living with my Aunt and Uncle.” Whenever Marya began to speak in French, Iliana responded in kind. It was just a little something the pair shared and while she was almost certain her Uncle Arseni at the very least understood it, he never joined their little talks. “I’m not saying we can’t try it, but I am recommending against it in the sense that I'd rather not risk being expelled in my final year.”
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

Mera didn't seem impressed or surprised as Iliana responded to her in modern French, hers being close enough she knew most modern speakers could understand her. She huffed a bit at the concept of asking for help before muttering, "Ou sèlman ganny sanksyon si ou kapab zwépé,"[1] but didn't push the matter further.

She looked over at Iliana as she apologized and raised a brow, "That does not seem like something that requires an apology," she said simply, though she just blinked at the final recommendation, "I also did not insist on you coming along. If it is likely to get anyone in trouble and possibly... expelled as you say, then let it be me," she shrugged, and then muttered again, "C'n'est pas comme se j'voullais estre ichin d'tote façan."[2]

"You spoke before of finding things to make me happy. What of you?"

([1]-You only get punished if you get caught
[2]- It's not as if I wanted to be here anyways)
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
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Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Iliana gave a little head tilt at her comment, she wasn’t wrong there and she chuckled. “*C'est vrai, mais je préférerais être attrapé par un professeur plutôt que par certaines créatures là-dedans.” Shrugging she was just being honest, she knew some of the creatures that dwelled in the Forbidden Forest thanks to Care of Magical Creatures class and she absolutely did not want to be on the wrong side of one without someone who knew precisely what to do. When she continued pointing out if anyone was to get in trouble she would accept it, given she didn’t want to be here.

“What good would that do though? I mean didn’t your family want you here? Acting out and getting expelled just because you don’t like it won’t win you any favors with them will it? I mean if so then why did they send you in the first place?” It boggled her mind why she was trying so hard to be sent home when it seemed obvious she’d been sent here for a reason. Mentally shaking herself she sighed at her question; things that made her happy?

Iliana knew that was a short list but she’d added a few as of late, “My whole focus right now is passing my N.E.W.T’s and in doing so hopefully being able to step into the career path I’ve been working towards since I was a little girl.” Shrugging her shoulders absently she looked thoughtful, “But happiness comes in small doses. Going shopping with my Aunt, playing chess with my Uncle or hanging out with my friends when we all have time to just be present and it doesn’t involve school.”

*True, but I'd prefer being caught by a Professor than some of the creatures in there.
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Mera Zaheer
6th Year
6th Year
Player: Nova

Post by Mera Zaheer »

"You're mistaken," Mera said to the questions about the "good" it would do, "I am not here because I wanted to be or because my parents or family wanted me to be," she said, "I am here because after my father lost his mind, they didn't really know what to do with me. We had come here as ambassadors of sorts. The "good" is the hopes I can go...." her voice died out mid-thought as a different thought seemed to strike her. She looked away, schooling her features back into a blank mask as she listened to Iliana answering her question.

She gave a nod to her response, "I see," she murmured then squinted as a group of somewhat loud students passed by, laughing and goofing off with each other, "My guardian often refers to how I feel as...culture shock," she said after a moment, "But that's not it," she shook her head. She struggled for a moment for the words, but settled on using an easier language since she seemed to understand it easily enough, "Oui, ch'est endroit est ben différent d'mi mason, mais j'n'ai jamais été un amoureux d'quoique ch'soi t'comme ch'ti-là. J'préfère m'n solitude. Les gens sont... trop d'un jeu d'sauvage." [1]

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Peu importe," [2] she said, quieter, like the conversation had exhausted her.

[1]Yes, this place is vastly different from my home, but I've never been a lover of anything like this. I prefer my solitude. People are... too much of a wild card.
[2] Whatever.
In the depths of sorrow, resilience ignites the flame of purpose
User avatar
Iliana Tsankova
7th Year
7th Year
Player: Grim

Post by Iliana Tsankova »

Listening as she explained Ili felt her comment was even more spot on, resisting was pointless and the longer she fought it the more unhappy she would be. When she trailed off her sentence she couldn’t help responding, “... go home? Given what you just said I don’t see that happening anytime soon unfortunately.” No she understood culture shock and what Mera was going through wasn’t it at all.

She was a round peg being shoved into a square hole right now and the more she fought it, the worse it would feel for her especially when it sounded like there was no one who could take her side of it to give her what she wanted. Head tilting some at her words when Mera switched languages it took her brain a minute to flip over with it and she blinked absently, so she was an introvert? Made sense why everything seemed to rub her wrong, it all went against her base personality of just wanting to be able to do as she wanted on her own without interference.

Mera sounded utterly done with the conversation by her last words and Iliana was quiet for a moment before she sighed, “Parfois, vous ne pouvez pas rentrer chez vous, mais j'espère pour vous que vous pourrez survivre ici jusqu'à ce que vous soyez majeur et que vous pourrez ensuite faire ce que vous voulez."* She certainly knew that even if she thought she could go back to St Petersburg she doubted she would be welcomed among the magical community there. Her parents' choice not to follow Voldermort and her brother’s actions had pretty much blackballed her from ever going back and being welcomed there.

Climbing to her feet she absently dusted herself off a bit and glanced at her, “I’d better get back to studying, if you need help with the Professors come find me. I’ll be happy to go talk to them with you.” Giving her a little wave she smiled softly, “It was nice to meet you, Mera.” Turning Iliana began her trek back towards the dorms, NEWT’s waited for no one especially if she wanted to pass.

*Sometimes you can't go home but I will hope for your sake you can make it through here till you are of age and then you can do as you wish.
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