Mending Wounds [Closed]

[Tatiana Beautero]

At least she wasn’t the only one who felt like the seasoning was different now granted neither would probably ever ask the kitchen staff the reason for such. It was just forever going to be one of those little mysteries that she didn’t mind having the answer for and she let it go. Nodding absently at his comment she couldn’t argue with his reasoning for how he planned to keep his resources on hand for the potion that at least allowed him to keep his mental faculties about him when in his werewolf form.

“Sounds like a solid plan,” she continued to pick at her food not wanting to overdo it with her stomach. She’d long learned if she ate too fast or too much she would pay for it, it wasn’t pleasant but a small part of her kind of reasoned it was poetic justice all things considered. It didn’t take much more food before she felt that first little ping that told her to stop and she set her fork down, choosing to pick up her water instead and sip on that a bit before she looked thoughtful. “I am glad you were able to make the best of things… I just wish it could have been different.”

[Bishop Santos]

"I wish a lot of things could have been different," Bishop murmured, taking a bite of his food, "Not necessarily what happened to me, but how I handled it... how I wasn't there when you all needed me the most," he said, looking at the plate, "And then I couldn't bear to try and face you again until I'd done something with myself, to try and be someone better than the me that left you there," he said before looking up at her, "As much as I'm able, I want to be there for you going forward. To support or help you in any way I can," he nodded, trying to be clear about how serious he was.

[Tatiana Beautero]

She dropped her fork and stared at him, “Merlin’s beard! This has to stop. You cannot keep blaming yourself for what happened that night, there was quite literally nothing you could have done, Bishop.” Tati stared hard waiting until his gaze finally met her own, “My guilt is only in the choice I made on your behalf without your consent; first do no harm… and yes I saved your life but it’s a helluva a fine line it hopscotches as to the harm it caused you.”

Sighing heavily she picked up her glass taking a long sip of water before she drew in a shaky breath only to visibly startle when TJ’s paw came to rest on her leg nearly dropping said glass. Putting it down she reached down placing a hand on top of his head, “I’m okay buddy. Thanks.” Turning her attention back to him she absently licked her lips, “You'd have died or worse if you’d been there that night, there were werewolves among the Death Eaters that attacked.”

She hoped he didn’t need more of an explanation of ‘worse’ than that, it wouldn’t have taken any effort at all for them to convince his werewolf self to join his brethren and then how much worse would he have felt when he woke up the next day as himself? Continuing to pat TJ’s head now resting on her thigh she kept her gaze on Bishop, “I won’t lie it hurt how upset you were but you had every right to be. I would have been if I had woken up in your position but I appreciate the sincere change of heart.” After a moment or two longer TJ finally gave her hand a bump with his nose before he slunk back off towards his kennel.

Obviously her anxiety had calmed down again, she smiled softly before shifting her plate out of the way and absently folding her arms on the table in front of her completely forgetting the tattoo on her inner left elbow. “And if it helps you were always with me, I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. Talking to you…” Reaching up with her other hand she tapped the side of her head, “...recalling conversations with you mostly kept me going. I always just hoped that you were safe and alive.”

[Bishop Santos]

Her exclamation caused him to jump but he huffed a bit that she was telling him to not feel guilty but then said she had her own guilt. He looked over at TJ when she turned her attention to him, a bit impressed he hadn't really seen him come over. He took a deep breath and sat back, rubbing his forehead. Somehow what she was saying about hearing their old conversations really didn't make him feel better. But seeing as she just got upset at him, he didn't voice it. He looked back at her, sighing heavily, "So where do we go from here?" he asked. He didn't know if she wanted to keep trying to be friends considering everything that was there between them in the past, "Do we try to let the past go? Put it behind us?"

[Tatiana Beautero]

“I don’t know,” the comment came quietly before she unconsciously drew her arms in towards herself and crossed them. Tati wasn’t sure where it left either of them; he didn’t seem convinced in anything she’d said and it wasn’t as if she could force him to believe her. Finishing off her water she made a motion with her hand and her dishes cleared returning to the kitchen to be washed. Pushing from her seat she wandered over to the nearest window and stared out at the view of the grounds quietly for a few moments. “What does that mean, let the past go? Put it behind us?”

[Bishop Santos]

"I mean, the negative things, the weights that pulling us down," Bishop said, staring at the tabletop, "There was a lot of good before everything fell apart, and no, things can't ever be the same as it was then, but I'd rather focus on what we had rather than the things that ended up hurting us both," he said, looking up at her now, "Though then again, you had been giving me a bit of a cold shoulder," he smirked ruefully, trying to bring a bit of brevity to the moment, "I always was worried I'd gone and said something stupid and you were mad at me," he chuckled a little, "I wasn't above it, that's for sure."

[Tatiana Beautero]

She blinked once, twice before he mentioned her having given him the cold shoulder and Tati visibly winced, bowing her head absently. “ You noticed..? Of course you did…” Wetting her lips absently she sighed, “ I wasn’t mad at you Bishop… I was mad at… THEM. They just wouldn’t shut up after the Yule Ball…” She unconsciously tightened her arms around herself staring out the window trying to look past where she could easily see his reflection in the glass at the table, “I didn’t want the rumors to ruin things.”

There were only really two ways it could have possibly done that, both she’d seen reflected in other friendships like her own and his. So she’d tried to be cautious, to pull back enough to make the rumors stop but not enough to make him feel the lack of her support either. “I thought if I just backed off some they’d lay off but I still tried to be there when I knew you needed me most.” Obviously he’d noticed though so she hadn’t been there for something or enough that it had stood out to him. “I thought you would appreciate the rumors we were dating being silenced.”

[Bishop Santos]

Bishop was quiet as he listened to her explanation of the things that occurred in their days here. He smirked a bit as she said she didn't want the rumor to ruin things. He rubbed the back of his head and cleared his throat as she mentioned him appreciating them being silenced, "Well... what if I told you I had kind of hoped to make them not rumors?" he murmured, not looking at her, "Of course, once you put the distance between us, I thought I must have been wildly out of my mind to think you liked me too, at least in that way, but when you went with me to the dance, I kind of... but I chickened out of saying anything then, I just wanted to enjoy the time we had," he said, remembering how things went downhill quickly from there. He cleared his throat, "But anyways, yeah, I want us to remember those times, and maybe we can just move forward- get back to being friends like we were."

[Tatiana Beautero]

A light breeze could have knocked her over when he commented quietly about hoping to have made them not rumors and it kind of broke her brain for a moment as she stared at the reflection of him in the glass. Was he saying he’d been encouraging the rumors? Or was he saying…

...maybe we can just move forward- get back to being friends like we were.

Blinking she glanced back over her shoulder at where he sat at the table, he wanted them to be friends like they were? That was, fair wasn’t it? Given everything. Even if they ‘let go’ of the past and moved forward in their case that meant going back to where they’d left off, didn’t it? Realizing she hadn’t said a word in probably longer than was comfortable she gave a little nod shifting her attention back towards the view out the window, “Of course, friends… like we were.”

Moving away from it finally she wandered past him, unconsciously resting a hand on his shoulder briefly as she did so. “You should finish eating before it gets cold…” Making her way over to one of the cabinet she kept in her space, looking through the various books and papers before she seemed to find what it was she was looking for. Making her way back to the table she placed the folded paper on the table near him before sitting back down across from him again, “The trust information for Isa and Charlie. You can hand it off to your Uncle or handle it yourself, whichever you think is best.”

[Bishop Santos]

Bishop fidgeted as he waited for her answer, looking down at the table. He wasn't sure how she might interpret what he said, why didn't he just say that he liked her? It was so long ago now, it felt like another life...The longer the silence drew on the more his stomach seemed to knot up. When she finally spoke, he let out a quiet sigh of relief that she wasn't upset, at least not as far as he could tell. When he felt her touch, he cleared his throat a little at the...moment before he processed what she said. He looked at the food, no longer sure he actually had it in him to eat anything right now.

He tried to take a bite of something else before looking at the paper she sat down on the table. He looked at it for a long moment, his brain turning something over, "I'll take it to him. I don't think they trust me with that kind of thing. I know I'm their older brother and ought to, ya know, step in and all... but I'm trying to respect them too. They've gotten on fine without me," he muttered, putting his fork down again. He sipped at his tea before sitting back and sighing a little.

"Anyways. Thank you," he murmured then hesitated a moment, "We should... do something, hang out somewhere you're comfortable going off campus, even if it's just over to Hogsmeade to the Broomsticks," he said, "This castle can be depressing."

[Tatiana Beautero]

A brow lifted at his comment about his siblings but she let it go, “Whatever you think is best, they’re your siblings.” While Tati was fond of them and she’d seen to their safety and comfort they technically weren’t her responsibility at least not since she’d handed them over to their Uncle. If he felt that was the best thing to do then that was what should be done, she wasn’t going to argue. Just so long as the kids got to use the trusts she’d set up that was all that mattered.

When he mentioned hanging out off campus she blinked thinking about Hogsmeade, “I usually only go when the kids are off on holiday otherwise I feel like it would be just my luck to not be here when I am needed.” Crossing her arms in front of her she rested her chin on them and looked thoughtful for a few moments, “But I suppose perhaps a few hours might not be so bad. It’s not as if I would have to worry about being intoxicated or anything of the sort.” Her thumb absently rubbed the evidence of the one and only time she’d done such and she mentally hiccuped over that thought before she shook it away.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, an old habit when she was thinking Tati considered her schedule hoping to give him some more time to either drink or eat some more as well. While she knew her own appetite was more bird like than a person, there were reasons. “Well I suppose it all depends on when it works best for you, I know there are times that are ‘off limits’... so you let me know when it works best for you and I can make sure my schedule is clear as well.”

The only thing she really had to consider was her therapy appointments which the Dr from St Mungos insisted on continuing even after she’d been released. And of course making sure TJ got enough attention and exercise beforehand or after. Broomsticks wasn’t exactly the kind of place she wanted to take him, even if she didn’t see him causing any problems. “Maybe I can find someone to keep TJ for a bit too, I’d hate to leave him confined in his kennel here or in the apartment there…”

[Bishop Santos]

Bishop noticed the absent-minded motion but didn't point it out. When she mentioned the "off-limits" times, he nodded his head, "Okay," he said, tapping the table a bit before she mentioned finding someone to keep TJ, "I hear the Flying instructor has a Doberman that he takes out to the pitch when he's not teaching," he said, "Haven't seen it myself, but of course, the gossip of the students when they're supposed to be taking notes is hard to miss," he smirked a little, "Apparently they admire his long flowing curls," he snorted, "Don't know if Aubrey still wants the same reputation he had when he was a student here."

He finished his tea before starting to stand, "Well, I won't be in your hair much longer. Thank you for letting me come and talk a while, I'm glad we were able to...get some things off our chests," he said, though he wasn't sure exactly where they stood. He knew they said they'd go back to being friends as they had been, but where they had been was a strange bit of tension in and of itself. He rubbed the back of his head before picking up the papers she'd given him, "I'll get these sent to my uncle in the morning. Is there anything you'd like to say to them? They miss you, that's for sure," he smirked a little.

[Tatiana Beautero]

It took a moment or two, the mention of flowing curls and then the name before it clicked in her head and Tati giggled. “I mean they certainly did him a lot of favors back then, he might want to be careful now though… rules are different as an instructor.” Was she that out of it? She hadn’t even realized who the Flying instructor was? Then again flying had been the least important thing for her when she’d been a student so it made sense she hadn’t paid much attention to who was in charge there.

The most she caught was the Quidditch coaches, team captains and players of course because more often than not they tended to be the ones that frequented her space most. “I didn’t realize he had a dog though, I suppose I should try to pay more attention.” When he stood up she did the same and head tilted a bit at the almost forced sound of his comment. At first she was genuinely confused but then she remembered of course things would be rightly tense regardless of them agreeing to ‘go back to being friends like before’ or not.

When he mentioned his siblings she had the good sense to look guilty when he said they missed her, “I should reach out to them more often… I know. Just let them know I’m doing well and I miss them too.” It was the best she could do currently, Tati still felt like she needed more time. But she could write to them that wouldn’t be terrible and they were old enough to write back, so that was entirely possible. Making her way around the table she waited for him to seem ready before she hooked her arm around his and led him towards the door, “And you know you are always welcome, I would never think of you as being ‘in my hair’. I mean if we’re going back then being around one another more often than is going to be the normal again.”

When they reached the door she paused, releasing her hold on his arm before she hugged him tightly, trying to ignore any and all of the tension; any of the oddness that was present. Tati just closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time just let herself hug him, remembering all the times before when a hug from him would make just about any problem she had feel miles away. She knew she couldn’t do such forever though and eventually after what felt like long enough she let go and eased back giving him a smile. “Remember the door’s always open for you, goodnight Bishop.”

Pulling the door to her quarters open she didn’t feel she needed to specify she meant it figuratively but in a literal way, whenever he needed her Tati would be there. Just like she’d always been before, she could do that again after all this time. It was the least she could do, couldn’t she?

[Bishop Santos]

Bishop had chuckled a little about the fact she mentioned Aubrey needed to be careful, "Maybe we ought to put up a sign and get all the dog owners to meet at once so you can find more friends for TJ," he said as they were going towards the door, and her holding his arm put a smile on his face, like the casual touch made him more at ease than before.

When she hugged him, he hugged her back just as tight, enjoying the feeling for the moment and letting himself just be. When she stepped back, he smiled softly, "Goodnight, Beau," he murmured, but before he left, he gave a small kiss to her forehead before starting out into the hall, "I'll see you around. Hopefully not for more burns," he chuckled a little.