Family [Reserved Kyle]

[Selah Innes]

July 15,2005 When the letter had arrived Selah had been sort of caught off guard but not entirely. After the last time she’d checked in with Kyle Winters she’d made herself a note to expect to hear from him soon. But the subject of his owl wasn’t exactly what she’d expected to hear from him about, his folks were splitting up? Truthfully she couldn’t quite argue with that line of thought given what she’d heard about how his father had reacted over the riot and his injury but Selah knew better than to make knee-jerk decisions especially over highly emotional subjects which both those situations were.

Their marriage wasn’t her business, her business was Kyle and how he was doing so she’d responded immediately with today's date and a time to meet, which was how she found herself waiting at Three Broomsticks with a drink in front of her. Heck she had enough problems dealing with her own marriage in that case currently. Sure they could have met at her office or the school but neither of those felt private enough for this kind of conversation and she certainly didn’t feel like traversing into the muggle world to talk to him there least of all when he was at school already. It just meant waiting longer for a break or whatever and Selah doubted he wanted to wait that long given the heavy subject matter.

The door opened and she glanced up catching sight of the familiar yet taller figure as she stood up from her table, waving to get his attention. When he approached she smiled, “I swear you get taller every time I see you.” She offered him a quick friendly hug in greeting before settling back into her seat, “I thought this might be a better place to chat all things considered. Order you something first and then we’ll chat, all things aside it’s good to see you Kyle.” Absently tugging at the long sleeve of her shirt she settled back into her seat sipping her hot tea.

[Kyle Winters]

A moderately loud ‘pop’ announced Kyle’s arrival at Hogsmeade as the teenager materialised out of thin air in front of the Three Broomsticks Inn. Quickly giving himself a once over (and double checking his prosthesis for good measure), he was relieved to find that he had successfully Apparated here in one piece. It was no mean feat for someone who had only just turned seventeen and could legally Apparate less than a month ago, and more so because his hometown of Bradford was around 300 miles away. He had to break up the journey into three parts before he felt confident enough to attempt it, and even then it had taken him far more effort and focus than he initially anticipated to make the final jump.

Of course, he could have taken the train as he normally did to a nearby town and either fly or Apparate for the last leg of the journey, but he didn’t want anyone to know about his appointment today. And Apparating was much faster – and not to mention far cheaper too.

Challenging as the journey was, it was well worth the effort. As the only all-wizarding village in the whole of Britain, Hogsmeade afforded him the privacy he would need to broach the difficult topic to Selah, the lady from the Muggle Liaison Office. Mentally he steeled himself for what would likely be a difficult conversation, and entered the inn. Immediately he caught sight of her. Or rather, she did, and began waving at him to get his attention. Waving back with a smile, he approached the table she was at, and she greeted him warmly with a hug. She always seemed so confident and assured and positive, and that made it easier for him trust her and confide in her.

“I did. I outgrew my leg again,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly as she mentioned how he had grown taller since the last time they had met, as though it was his fault for needing yet another prosthesis. “I had to get a new one fitted last week. Cost a bomb, but Osman chipped in a little.” Money, or the lack thereof, had always been a major headache for him; while he was entitled to a free prosthesis courtesy of the National Health Service, it wasn’t suitable for an athletic and active teenager like himself.

“Aye, it’s great to see you too, Selah,” he replied. “I’ll be quick,” he added, before politely excusing himself to get a drink as she had suggesed. Shortly he returned with a pint of butterbeer. “I hadn’t realise how much I missed butterbeer until today,” he said as he took a sip, relishing the taste of the sweet and rich beverage.

He would have loved to enjoy his butterbeer and chat with Selah about frivolous things, but alas that was not the reason why they were here. “I’m sorry, but whenever we meet, I’m always seem to be causing trouble for you,” he began apologetically as he tried to find a nice way to broach the topic. But there simply wasn’t, and the only thing he could do was to be quick and direct about it, much like ripping off an Elastoplast.

“My mum wants to file for a divorce soon, instead of waiting for one more year to divorce… that man on the grounds of five years of separation.” Nervously he took a sip of butterbeer again to ground himself, before continuing to furnish Selah with more background information. “If he doesn’t contest it this time round and the divorce goes through, we’ll cut all ties with him.”

At his juncture he paused; there was just one last thing he had left to say, and he took a moment to muster his courage. “I know this sounds absolutely mental… but could he be Oblivated such that he has no memory of us at all?” Now that he had said it out loud, the request sounded even more heartless and insane than it did in his head, and he hastily tried to justify it. “I mean, he’d have nothing to do with us anymore, so he’s not even supposed to know anything about the wizarding world, innit?”

[Selah Innes]

When he returned settling with his butterbeer and mentioned always causing her trouble she reached across playfully smacking his arm, “Oh please! You do not. You are the least troublesome thing in my life right now.” Sipping her tea she gave him whatever time he needed but Kyle didn’t seem to need much, launching right into the issue. So mom was pushing it now and if his dad didn’t fight it they were going no contact? Selah couldn’t rightly blame them given his behavior which frankly seemed completely bonkers.

It wasn’t until he paused briefly that she focused her attention on him fully, whatever he wanted to say was coming she just knew it. But what came out of his mouth wasn’t at all what she expected and Selah had the good sense to school most of her expression, save for just a brow raising. “I wouldn’t say mental exactly but certainly not fully thought out.” Holding up a hand she motioned for him to worry about his butterbeer as she took a moment to gather her thoughts together.

Setting her tea down she unconsciously wrapped her hands around the mug, “You are correct, he’s not supposed to know anything about our world if he isn’t going to be part of your family anymore. That being said however… Obliviating him completely would only cause more problems; you're forgetting about his family, friends, coworkers, all those folks that know about you and your mum.” She head tilted some watching him waiting to see the light bulb come on, he wasn’t a dumb kid she knew that already so she doubted she needed to spell it out too much for him in that regard. Much as she hated it for him Selah understood his mother was just trying to make the best decision for herself and Kyle given his father’s behavior as of late.

Her mind started to wander briefly and she mentally shook it off instantly snapping herself back to the young man across from her, “I understand wanting to walk away and forget he ever existed but I just gotta ask… Do you ever wonder or hope that maybe one day he might realize the mistakes he’s made and want to fix it with you?” Picking up her tea she took a much longer sip after her question wanting to give him some time to mull it over first before she continued, “You’re lucky you’ve got me ya know? I know what it’s like having a parent who has been more disappointing than supportive, so I get it. Really I do.”

Setting the cup down she dug into her bag and pulled out a notepad and a quill making a few notes before she looked thoughtful, “There are options though… we can have his memories tweaked so he doesn’t remember the wizarding world but just thinks you went to a private school, played rugby, ya know all the normal muggle things.” In that case at least some of Kyle’s concerns would be handled but his connection to his father wouldn’t be completely severed, she didn’t want to remove all hope of reconciliation in the future by wiping the man’s mind of his wife and son. Heck she doubted if they could even pull it off given what she’d mentioned about others.

[Kyle Winters]

Selah’s initial response to Kyle’s request was, as usual, measured and rational. The teenager’s face fell as she pointed out that it wasn’t well thought-out. It would have hurt less if she dismissed his request as an emotional and impulsive thought, but instead she pointed out logically why it wouldn’t work in a way that was irrefutable. The Obliviators could erase his father’s memory of him and his mother, but what of the others like his father’s relatives and colleagues, and their former neighbours?

“I’m sorry, it was a long shot, and I should have known that it wouldn’t work,” he confessed as he averted his gaze. Of course it wouldn’t fly, and it had been a fool’s errand from the very beginning. But he couldn’t just sit back and do nothing about the situation. “I… I just want him out of our lives,” he vented as he kept his eyes on his butterbeer, as though Selah would be able to see right through him if he met her gaze. “I don’t want him to ever have the chance to hurt my mum again.”

Somehow or another Selah still did, for she asked if Kyle ever harboured any hopes that his father might change. Her words hit awfully close to home in light of what had happened recently, and though he said nothing, the fact that he had flinched visibly was telling enough. As much as he didn’t want to admit, that was the true elephant in the room that needed to be addressed, and one that he didn’t know how to, or if he even wanted to. After everything that the man had done, could Kyle find it in himself to forgive him and welcome him back into his life? He had no answer to that question. For years he had hated the man with every fibre of his being and swore that he would have nothing to do with him ever again… but what he had seen last week had shaken that resolve.

It was only when Selah revealed that she also had a parent who had let her down that Kyle broke his silence. “I–I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been pretty hard for you too.” Whatever had happened to Selah didn’t seem to have left any mark on her disposition, or at least he couldn’t see any outward signs of it. Hopefully he would be able to come to terms with his own family problems and move on, but for now that seemed like a distant dream. “I don't mean to pry, but were you able to forgive them for what they did?” That was the one thing he wanted – no, needed – to know. If she had been able to forgive her errant parent, perhaps there was a way for him to do so as well.

He nodded as Selah proposed that they could instead amend his father’s memory. “We had a cover story that we told our relatives and friends after I got my Hogwarts letter,” he said. “I was supposedly going to Westminster School, and a relative was paying for my education. We could go with that.” Still, it wouldn’t stop his father from harassing them.

His thoughts drifted to what Selah had asked him earlier. “Selah, I…” he began haltingly as he tried to gather his thoughts into something coherent. “I bumped into him last week.” In his unwillingness to acknowledge his father, he didn't specify who that person was, though the man's identity was clear from the tinge of disgust in his voice. “He was completely sloshed, but I couldn't leave him alone so I sent him home.” He paused as his conflicted feelings about his father made him hesitant to continue on. If he kept talking, would he be forced to commit to forgiving his father? He wasn’t ready for that. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to.

He looked up at Selah and instantly felt a pang of guilt at having second thoughts about coming clean to her. She was here to help him, and he’d be wasting her time if he didn’t even want to help himself. “There were some pamphlets on the coffee table,” he continued. He was rambling a little, but at least the momentum forced him to keep talking until he was done. “I think he’s trying to change. But I don’t know if he can. And even if he could, I’m not sure if I can ever forgive him for what he did.”

[Selah Innes]

Selah wasn’t judging him, heck she understood more than most how he felt. She’d essentially cut her own mother off a long time ago but not entirely despite all the hurt she’d caused her because that hope was still there. At his question she bowed her head, “As soon as she bothers to try I’ll let you know, currently she’s still convinced she’s done nothing wrong. Difference between yours and mine, your father has a problem; an addiction. My mother is just a pureblood narcissist and since I’m a half blood..”

She shrugged it didn’t require much more explanation than that she felt, Selah was fairly sure with all the time he’d been at Hogwarts and part of their world he’d understand immediately what the problem was there. Sipping her tea she listened as he began, explaining what he’s seen and what he’d done. She was hard pressed to keep the soft thoughtful smile off her lips, yeah he was still hoping for his father to get better even if he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. Reaching across the table she patted his arm, “Forgiveness is for you kiddo, not him. You forgive to give yourself peace but that doesn’t mean you have to forget.”

That was probably the most important thing she’d learned in all her years and she was grateful to her grandfather for teaching it to her. Thinking of him made a knot briefly form in her throat and she took a long sip of her tea to swallow it down. “So let’s go with the plan of just erasing his knowledge of the Wizarding world for now and if you want I can see if a charm or something can be added to encourage him to keep a distance from you and your mum, alright?” That sounded like a good start to her given everything he’d said and she’d considered so far.

It sounded like the fairest way to give him at least some of what he wanted and also leave a crack in the door for if or when his father managed to find his way out of his addiction. If he didn’t know about the crack in the door and never got better, no harm no foul but if he put in the effort to get better and made an attempt then it would be up to Kyle how close to let him. She felt that at least gave them both more time, “I take it you didn’t mention that to your mum either ?” Not that she planned to say a word, she understood by this point with some of her kids that they were old enough more or less to make their own calls as to what their parents knew.

[Kyle Winters]

As Selah revealed that her mother was still oblivious to her own faults, Kyle couldn’t help but feel for her. He had been in a similar situation: he knew not if his his father had since changed for the better, but back then his father had been most adamant about his ways. The thought of everything that man did was enough to reopen Kyle’s psychological wounds, and underneath the table he clenched his fists to keep his emotions in check.

Selah’s words about how their parents were different triggered something in him. No, his father wasn’t so different, and he most certainly didn’t just have an alcohol addiction. They were exactly the same. “He was a fucking racist,” he spat contemptuously before Selah could finish her sentence, and it only dawned on him belatedly that he had cut her off rudely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he apologised hurriedly. “And I’m also sorry for not mentioning this before.” Not that he wanted to withhold the truth from Selah. One simply did not go around telling people that their fathers were terrible people – besides, he had always felt that his issues with his father were his own problems to solve. And when the issue was finally significant enough to warrant mention, Kyle had much bigger problems to deal with, such as the loss of his best friend, his amputation, and his family’s breakup.

“He never approved of my friendship with Rohaan,” Kyle began, furnishing Selah with the details for the first time. “We knew he was a bigot, but we didn’t know how much of a bigot he really was. During the riots four years ago, he was part of the angry mob throwing firebombs at Osman’s restaurant.” He paused and squeezed his eyes shut, unable to continue as the painful memories came back to him: the burning restaurant, Osman and Yasmine shouting at him from the back door, Rohaan lying unconscious on the ground just out of reach…

He reopened his eyes and blinked a few times to force back the tears. It was all supposed to be so clearcut, wasn’t it? His father was a terrible person, and it was all right to hate him. Yet for some reason he still felt conflicted over it. Tentatively he asked Selah if she could ever forgive her mother, only to receive an unexpected reply. All these years it never crossed his mind that forgiveness was for his own peace of mind, but it seemed to make sense. All these years he had been holding on to his grudge like a hot potato, letting it scald his hand but stubbornly refusing to let go. But while he nodded to indicate that he had understood what Selah said, the hint of hesitation suggested that he hadn’t accepted it fully yet.

Selah’s suggestion to erase only his father’s memories of the wizarding world wasn’t what he wished for, at it did seem prudent and far more sensible. He gave a somewhat reluctant “aye” in response, knowing that this was as much as he could reasonably ask for.

He shook his head when Selah asked if his mother was aware that he has bumped into his father last week. “Osman and Yasmine know,” he revealed. On that fateful night he had asked Yasmine to lie on his behalf to his mother that he was helping out at Osman and Yasmine’s restaurant till late, and was spending the night at their place. “I didn’t know how to tell my mum, or if I should. She doesn’t know that I’m meeting you today either.”

“It’s not that I want to lie to her or hide anything from her,” he hastily added, hoping that Selah wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “I don’t want to sway her opinion or…” His voice trailed off when he realised that all his explanations sounded like flimsy excuses. Did he want to get the facts straight before he talked to his mother, or did he selfishly not want her to change her mind so that he could finally break all ties with his father? Did he want to meet Selah in secret so that his mother wouldn’t have the chance to intervene in whatever he was planning? With a sigh he buried his face in his hands. “Ugh… I don’t even know what I’m doing.” he confessed wearily.

[Selah Innes]

Selah shifted back in her chair some when he snapped the comment, a racist? Well that hadn’t been mentioned before. When he apologized she shook her head and sipped her tea motioning for him to continue, obviously there was more he hadn’t said and he needed to get it all out now. She sat quietly listening to him as he got it all out and did her level best to keep her expression even before he finally seemed to collapse in a way into himself.

“You are trying to protect yourself and your mother from more pain, that’s what you are doing. Right now it’s a knee jerk reaction though so what you come up with isn’t going to be completely reasonable.” Reaching over she touched his hands covering his face with her fingertips until she saw his face again and she laid her hand on the table.

Holding it open mostly as an offering for him to hold if he wanted she continued, “You’re right. They are the same, I apologize for my assumption that they weren’t. Anyway about it we both know what it’s like to suffer because of a messed up parent, but you’ve got your Mum, Osman, Yasmine, your friends at school… and you’ve got me.”

Finishing up her tea she sat the mug down absently tapping her nails of her now free hand on the table top as she looked at him, “My advice is just hold onto that information, what you saw when you ‘helped’ him and wait. Let us do our part, give your Mum some breathing room and see if the realization that yes he’s actually going to lose his family due to his behavior doesn’t prompt him to genuinely embrace making that change.” Drawing her other hand back finally she sighed and shifted her gaze out the window for a moment.

Ironically she was giving him advice to just let it happen however it was going to happen when she was basically in a similar situation and all she wanted was some kind of answer. But Dorian would always be Dorian, he’d stopped talking to her long ago and it stung but this wasn’t her situation it was Kyle’s. Shaking her head she snapped her focus back to him and gave him a somber smile, “Time for all of you might be what’s needed if for no other reason than to just let decisions be made, actions taken and consequences.”

[Kyle Winters]

Selah was right: it was all a knee-jerk reaction. In fact, it was so painfully obvious that Kyle should have been able to see it himself, rather than have someone else point it out to him. Her words of reason calmed him down somewhat, and after she reached out to touch his hands, he was able to stop hiding his face.

He nodded grimly as Selah agreed that her mother was the same as his father and took her hand, partly as a show of support for her. “I don’t know how much help I’d be, but you’ve got me too,” he offered, hoping it wouldn’t come out sounding too lame. “You’ve been a great help to me, but I’ve not really done much for you.”

Taking the advice he was given earlier, Kyle listened intently and suppressed the urge to respond immediately as Selah suggested that he should wait and see how things went. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, trying to convince his heart that the best thing to do was, well, nothing. “But that’s an awfully difficult thing to do, innit? I don’t want to wait in vain for something that might never happen. I’d rather do something about it earlier. If I failed, at least I tried.” His butterbeer was going to turn cold soon, and he quickly took a sip of it while it was still warm. “Not that I know what to do,” he added with a defeated sigh as he set the mug down on the table. Heck, if he had any ideas, he wouldn’t have needed to seek help from Selah.

[Selah Innes]

Selah squeezed his hands at his comment about doing for her, “I appreciate that but you don’t have to do for me kiddo, not your job. It’s mine to do for you and I do it because I want to. None of you should be punished or treated any differently just cause you don’t happen to be a pureblood.” That was just how it worked, Selah hated how she’d been treated her whole life by her mother’s family all except her Grandfather.

He’d been the shining exception until she’d gone off to Hogwarts and once able to show her talent others had come along as well. “Besides my Mum and Gran are the least of my problems at the moment… it would probably be easier if they weren’t.” No she could handle dealing with them blindfolded with her good casting arm tied behind her back, but the situation with Dorian and everything that was going along with it was becoming more than she could bare.

Shoving those thoughts aside she focused on his question and nodded, “It is difficult to do but I’m not tellin ya to wait forever. Just give it a bit, at least till the New Year, ya? See what happens by then and maybe by then you’ll have a better idea of what you can do, hmm?” It was a thought at least, she hoped. Give himself some time to really mull it over and of course the adults in his life to get their shit together before the young man across from her had to make a decision he didn’t need too.

Releasing her hold on his hand with a little squeeze she picked up her own mug of tea finishing the last of it before she unconsciously swirled the last little bit that was left dispersing the leaves in the cup before she turned it over onto the saucer. Glancing at him she gave a little rueful smile, “ My Zǔfù… grandfather always said to never waste a chance to see what the leaves will tell you, they might help you find an answer you weren’t expecting.” The employees had learned a long time ago not to bring her English Tea, heck she’d even provided them with tea to keep in the back for her when she’d been a student and since then they’d just sort of kept it up whether she was around or not.

Picking it up after a moment she only briefly glanced, immediately taking note of the broken anchor that stuck out like a sore thumb and the appearance of drops along with it before she held it out to him. “Let’s see what all you’ve learned… what do you see?”

[Kyle Winters]

I want to too, Kyle wanted to say when Selah reminded him that it was her job to help others, not his. It mattered not that it wasn’t his job to do so: he had been there for the adults in his life – his mother, and Osman and Yasmine – when they were going through a rough patch. He wasn’t a kid anymore either. Heck, he was seventeen already, and legally allowed to drive and Apparate. But as usual, Selah had a point. He knew almost nothing about the problems she faced nor how he could even be of any help. Reluctantly he nodded as he accepted that it simply was not his place to involve himself in her worries.

His eyes widened in surprise at Selah added that her mother and grandmother were, in her own words, the least of her problems, but he held his tongue. It would not be nice to probe, especially since she gave no further details.“Whatever it is that you’re dealing with, I hope it turns out well.” Though it was cold comfort, that the best he could offer.

Casting his gaze down, Kyle considered Selah’s proposition with a grim expression. Waiting till the New Year… it felt so awfully far away, though he understood that any change in his father for the better wasn’t going to happen overnight. Whether he accepted it or not was a different matter altogether; he honestly didn’t have much patience left, and he’d rather not wait even a single second only to end up disappointed again. In fact, he’d kill to be able to walk away from it right there and then. “Alright, I’ll wait,” Kyle finally said, and while he had given Selah his promise, the unwillingness in his tone was apparent. “I’ll give him one last chance to redeem himself. Provided he doesn’t fuck it up himself.”

Kyle let out a nervous, sheepish laugh as Selah prepared the tea leaves in her cup for a reading. “I definitely did not see that coming,” he said, fully aware of how ironic that sounded. And as he beheld the cup the first shape he noticed was an anchor. A broken anchor, to be exact.

That did not seem like a good omen.

Taking hold of the cup, he slowly cast his gaze along the sides of the cup, going clockwise before moving on to the bottom. There were a few blobs of tea leaves that vaguely resembled various shapes, and and he homed in on the biggest patches. Dismayingly the anchor was the largest amongst them, along with what resembled some droplets, and something that looked like a long stick with something on one end.

“A broken anchor…” Kyle mumbled to himself, scratching his head as he tried to recall what it was supposed to mean, failing which he began to wing it by extrapolating from whatever he felt made the most sense. “Anchors are supposed to secure ships… a broken anchor would mean the ship’s adrift… ungrounded… an unstable situation?” He glanced at Selah, hoping she could confirm if his guess had been right.

The droplets were much easier. “The drops represent tears or sadness. But I’m not sure who’s the one feeling sad here.” The main emotion that he had these days was anger. Loads of it, unfortunately. Any sadness that he might have had already evaporated a long time ago

As for the last shape, Kyle had yet to identify it. At the end of the ‘stick’, there was a clearly defined line that ran perpendicular to the ‘stick’, followed by a fuzzier rectangular shape. “Is that… is that a broom?” he asked, not entirely confident of his answer even though he could think of nothing else that resembled the blob. “Sweeping something up? No wait… I’ve got this…” As he rummaged his memory for the elusive bit of information, he rapped his knuckles against the side of his head, as though that would knock the information out from whatever corner it was hiding in. He vaguely remembered what the symbol meant, and it had something to do with sweeping. (Of course it did, it was a bloody broom.) “Why would I be sweeping… the floor’s dirty? No… The place was unused?” That was it! “Um… a new… a new place. A new home?” He looked incredulously at Selah, and then the cup, and back at Selah again. An unstable situation, sadness, and a new home… “Is this reading really so blunt and straightforward? No, there must be something I’m not seeing, innit?” he wondered aloud. Indeed, there were many unanswered questions, such as who the sad person was, and who was moving into a new home. Despite the context of the reading, it didn’t necessary mean that it would be him and his mother who were moving into a new home. Maybe his parents’ divorce would go through and his father would start a new family with someone else? “I might be overthinking this again, like I usually do,” he admitted.

[Selah Innes]

Sitting back as he began to look over the tea leaves in her cup, Selah kept her comments and thoughts to herself throughout until he commented on overthinking again. “The only thing you're missing is who you are reading… that ain’t you, kiddo. Remember whose tea leaves those are.” It was always the reading of the person who drank the tea, not the person reading the leaves until they were one and the same. Sighing heavily she let the breath out slowly, “And I’d say you got it all spot on, Professor Baptiste will be pleased to know his lessons paid off.”

Selah didn’t want to drag him into her mess especially after he’d already said he would be supportive of her too with her problems, but she also didn’t want him worrying about her either and the only way she knew to head that off was to be honest with him. “My husband asked for us to separate a while back, I didn’t wanna do it but sometimes you do things you don’t want too for people you love… thus the broken anchor and the drops…” Leaning against the table she took the cup back and glanced into it, taking note of the broom as well and shrugged absently.

“As for the broom… My boss mentioned a promotion. The catch is I’d have to relocate to the American branch and Ilvermorny. It isn't a sure thing yet… but I’m being considered.” She absolutely wasn’t going to leave completely before her current group of kids graduated at least though. Even if that meant bouncing back and forth between the two locations for a while until all those she currently managed were finished at Hogwarts, so be it. Selah refused to abandon any of them, she’d been on the receiving end of enough of that already in her lifetime.

Glancing at him she gave him a soft sort of sad smile, “So we’re both playing a waiting game I suppose… surely you can do your old caseworker’s nerves a favor and be more patient than I am? Cause I can promise out of the two of us, I’m the least likely to make it to New Year’s before I have answers to my problems.” Given the radio silence she’d been getting from Dorian, Selah was becoming convinced there would never be any answers except silence. But anymore that was starting to feel like an answer, she had a few more small things she’d planned to try and if those didn’t get any kind of response or reaction well then she’d know officially where she stood.

[Kyle Winters]

It was only when Selah pointed out his elementary mistake did Kyle realise that the reading hadn’t been for him. “Fuck,” he swore involuntarily under his breath as a mix of embarrassment and anger at himself welled up in him. Everyone had their own struggles, of course, but he was so stuck in his that he had to be reminded of such a simple fact. “I’m sorry, I’ve been so caught up in my troubles that my thoughts just keep going back to it.” HIs apology was an instinctive reaction, as though it was something he had done often. “Especially since the reading looked like it could have been for me.”

He didn’t think that Selah would give any further details about her situation, but she did anyway. As it turned out, their problems weren’t too different from each other’s. The teenager could only stare blankly at his cold butterbeer (which was somehow still unfinished, despite him sipping on it every now and then in his nervousness), not even knowing what he could say to make her feel better. Relationship problems were bloody complicated to begin with, and besides, who was he to give others relationship advice when he hadn’t even been in one before?

The part about her being considered for a promotion and a move to America came as a surprise. “Is it something you want though?” Kyle asked. An opportunity for one to further their career was not something to be given up lightly, and if that was what she wanted, Kyle was in no position to stop her. “If everything works out well, you know, your boss decides to offer you the promotion, and you and your husband patch up and he doesn’t mind moving to America… would you go?”

The only thing he could do was to nod solemnly when Selah said that both of them were playing a waiting game. “I promise, I’ll wait till the New Year before I do anything,” he vowed. “We’ll wait together, and when the answers finally arrive, I hope they’d be what we want. Or need.”

[Selah Innes]

Shaking her head she smiled, “It’s alright, just reminding you… regardless of what we’re going through, it’s always good to be aware of what is going on with those around you too.” His question about if she wanted to go to America combined with the one about her husband made her instantly sober, “It’s a last resort thing more than something I want to do, I mean I’m honored they’d consider me for the promotion but if he and I were still on good terms it wouldn’t even be a consideration.”

It was all she wanted to say on it but his comment about hoping their answers would be what they wanted made her sigh softly. Glancing across at him she smiled sadly, “That’s a good mindset to have, I’ll try to keep it in mind as well. But yes, New Year at least to see what happens. Focus on you right now and what you’ve got going on.” She had to stop herself from telling him to just be a kid, he wasn’t a kid at least not anymore. But he could still just enjoy his young adulthood before becoming a real adult was required she felt.

Sitting up she waved off the negative sounding air of the conversation, “What are you looking forward to with school? Isn’t the Winter Solstice dance coming up?” Selah wouldn’t be doing her job if she didn’t inquire about school with him, but it was also in a less serious, more amused older sibling tone. Getting them off serious topics after they’d got it off their chest tended to help her kids refocus and remind them that there were good things too, it didn’t hurt her much either to let the rough stuff go.

[Kyle Winters]

Kyle’s face reddened a touch as Selah reminded him that it was always good to pay attention to how others around him were feeling too. “I’ll remember that,” he promised; when the school year started he’d need to send more letters home too to check on his mother, or even pop back home for a bit after his appointments at the hospital if time permitted. And he gave a solemn, thoughtful nod as Selah revealed how she felt about the promotion. Though her situation was murky, at least she had a clear idea of what she wanted.

Selah advised that Kyle could focus on himself and what he had for the time being. “Aye,” he replied, understanding that control was just an illusion, and the only thing he could do was to make the most of what he had. Regardless of what happened to his family, he still had his mother, as well as Osman and Yasmine who had been very supportive and encouraging over the past few years. And he had Quidditch too to keep his mind off his worries, which he most definitely had no shortage of. “I have my N.E.W.T.s coming up soon too,” he added with a wry chuckle, unable to resist cracking a joke to lighten the sombre mood, even if it was at his expense. Looking at my grades, I’m sure my professors would want me to focus on my studies.”

“Definitely Quidditch,” he replied when asked what he was looking forward to at Hogwarts. “But it’s not easy juggling that with schoolwork, especially since us Seventh-Years would need to help organise and conduct the training, and guide our juniors along.”

The question about the Winter Solstice Dance, however, got Kyle scratching his head. “I–I’m not sure,” he shrugged. Since the end of the Second Wizarding War the event had been suspended indefinitely, presumably because there were more pressing matters to attend to, and the dance was low on the priority list as compared to things like hiring new professors and keeping Hogwarts safe and secure.

“We haven’t heard anything about it at all. Some of us Seventh-Years are hoping that it’ll be brought back this year, because it’s the last time we’ll get to attend it.” Despite what he was saying, his tone suggested that he was amongst the minority who would be cool with the dance not happening. “Not me though. I haven’t got nobody to attend the dance with.” Social events weren’t his thing at all: he didn’t have too many friends in school to begin with, he always felt awkward and self-conscious in such situations. “Besides, I can’t dance either,” he added, before falling back on an old self-depreciating joke. “I literally don’t even have two left feet.”

[Selah Innes]

Listening as he responded Selah nodded as he laid out what his plans were school wise, at least it sounded like he had things in perspective to stay on track. So things had rattled him that badly yet, that was a good sign all things considered. When he seemed more confused than not about her mention of the dance she slapped a hand over her mouth before making a face, "You didn't hear that from me…" She'd imagined they would let the kids know sooner rather than later about the dance so they would have plenty of time to prepare but apparently Hogwarts still preferred to do everything at the last minute.

His insistence that he couldn't dance at all made her raise a brow, "...well just consider remedying that… soonish, maybe." Shrugging her shoulders she did her best to look nonchalant. Before she glanced at the time and sighed, she would need to get back to the office soon. Giving him a look she shook her head, "You sir will have no problems finding someone should the need arise, just get that practice in and study for those tests. Quidditch is important I know but don't let that take too much priority, you know where your attention is needed."

Motioning for him to follow, she got up knowing the staff would get their few dishes but she did still stack them as she'd sort of become accustomed to doing when visiting the muggle world. Giving him time to get to his feet she playfully threw her arm around one of his seeming to drag him along with her, "And you know if you need help with something study wise I can call in some favors or if you even want some one on one time work on something." After all she wasn't so far removed as a student herself that some of her own Professors were still there and she had worked hard enough to build relationships with them that they'd stood the test of time.

Flashing him a grin she let him go and playfully ruffled his hair, "Speaking of… Professor Fah is still there isn't she? I owe her a visit." It had been far, far too long and she was going to be sure to bring her something nice in apology. She'd been the only one who'd truly understood or made an effort to understand what life was like for Selah when she'd been a student.

[Kyle Winters]

It seemed to Kyle that Selah had let slip something she wasn’t supposed to when she covered her mouth and then made a face. “I didn’t hear anything from you,” he echoed, feigning ignorance while giving her a knowing and mischievous grin, as though he too was complicit in this accidental leak and cover-up. It was funny how perfectly competent grown-ups could still make the occasional mistake, just like messed up teenagers such as himself. But come to think of it, to err is human, and that was something he would do well to remember the next time he beat himself up over a minor blunder.

When Selah said that he should learn how to dance, she glanced at the time and sighed, before adding that he wouldn’t have problems finding a dance partner. Deciding that he shouldn’t hold her up any longer than needed, he pretended to agree to that. Even if someone was desperately looking for a dance partner, Kyle was pretty certain he wouldn’t be anywhere near the top of that person’s list. But he nodded wholeheartedly – albeit a little glumly – when Selah reminded him not to devote too much of his attention to Quidditch. “Don’t worry, I’ll focus on my studies and pass my exams. I need to.” He’d need to get good grades so that he could secure a job with a decent pay, and hopefully move out of Bradford quickly.

Taking his cue from Selah, he got up and followed her. Unexpectedly she suddenly threw an arm around his, and despite his initial surprise he quickly recovered and played along, even feigning a stumble and a helpless “ahhh” as she ‘dragged’ him along. It was such a far cry from the sombre mood earlier, and he wondered if this was her way of encouraging him and lifting his spirits.

Upon hearing Selah’s offer to call on some favours if he needed help with schoolwork, he shook his head with a smile. “I’m managing fine, I think,” he said, trying to sound more certain than he actually felt. “Thus far none of the professors have turned down my request for extra lessons, and they’ve all been exceptionally patient with me.”

Selah released his arm and reached out to ruffle his hair as though he was still a small boy instead of a six-foot-two late teen, and he discreetly bent down a little. “She is,” he replied as she asked about Professor Fah, the Head of Slytherin House and Herbology professor. Though she was feared by students for how strict she was and how tough her classes were, he had to admit that he did feel thankful towards her for having such high expectations of her students and scaring them into performing well. In that sense she was quite similar to Professor Integra, the OG frighteningly harsh professor that even some of the other professors who had been her students were still afraid of. “She’s been threatening to feed us to her plants since 1999. Maybe even before that. I heard she had been caring for the plants at the greenhouse for a while before she started teaching at Hogwarts.” Though it was a bit of an exaggeration, there were more than a few undeniable shreds of truth in those words. “Why did you ask?” he inquired, curious as to why she suddenly mentioned the professor.

[Selah Innes]

When he confirmed that Professor Fah was still there and available she smiled, "I owe her a visit. Professor Fah helped me a lot when I was a student." Even if she knew the likelihood that her old Professor would immediately see straight through her and know Selah was dealing with problems again; maybe she needed the Elder's sage advice? It certainly couldn't hurt.

Plastering on a smile she shrugged, "And also it might help or might not if you ever mention being one of my kids, up to you to decide if you want to try it." Selah had no clue honestly if the Professor would be more inclined or less if he explained that. She hadn't seemed to mind Selah being a half blood so she was at least sure in the fact that Professor Fah would be dismissive of that so long as he worked hard for her.

That was one of the main things that had always got Selah through everything, she wasn't afraid of putting in the work. Glancing at the time once more she sighed, "Well I hate to tea and run but I have a few other meetings to get to and a large stack of paperwork to deal with on my desk back at the office." Reaching out she squeeze his upper arm a bit and smiled, "You know how to reach me if you need me, anytime, okay?"

[Kyle Winters]

Kyle gave an understanding nod as Selah revealed that Professor Fah had helped her a lot when she was a student, a sentiment that he could definitely relate to. He had received much guidance from the professors – although it sometimes came in the form of tough love – and he counted himself extremely lucky to be at Hogwarts.

His brow furrowed as he pondered about Selah’s suggestion. “I get more than my fair share of attention from Professor Fah already,” he admitted. “Mostly not the right kind, if you know what I mean.” Not that it was any reason not to let the Slytherin Head of House know about his connection to Selah. “Probably means there’s no harm trying, right?” he concluded, a hint of his usual lopsided grin playing on his lips as he gave a hopeful shrug.

Selah glanced at the time, a subtle gesture that made Kyle realise how long they had been here. “I’m so sorry I took up so much of your time,” he apologised automatically in his fluster. “Thanks so much for agreeing to meet me on such short notice.” Nodding as Selah asked if he knew how to reach her, he replied, “yea, I know.”

It was only after he bade her goodbye and she had left did it belatedly dawn on him that he had forgotten to wish her well with the issues she was dealing with. That was the very least he could do, but it had slipped his mind completely. Hopefully the next time we meet, we’d have better news for each other, he thought to himself, as he stepped out of the inn.

The air outside was pleasantly warm, and the sky less cloudy than when he had arrived at Hogsmeade. He wasn’t anywhere closer to resolving his complicated family problems, but for the moment the pressure and uncertainty felt more manageable.

Maybe all he needed was a listening ear.