Misfits Like Us (Leo)

[Astrid Osborne]

The morning of Saturday, December 3, 2005

On weekends, Astrid volunteered to feed and tend to Hogwarts' unicorns, hippogriffs and thestrals. And so today, she'd gotten up bright and early and made her way down to the (recently-rebuilt) paddocks on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, pushing an oversize wheelbarrow laden with various things for the beasts to eat. Being an innocent girl made it easy for her to approach the unicorns, and being a quarter-giant (she was about 7'3" now) made it slightly safer for her to approach the hippogriffs (though she'd built a good rapport with all the animals).

Unfortunately for her, or perhaps fortunately, she'd never seen death, so she couldn't see the thestrals. When she finally entered the thestral paddock, she tossed produce on the ground and listened carefully and watched the ground for signs of movement. As the invisible creatures came up to her and bit into the produce, she gently felt around for them, patted them, and threaded flowers into their manes so she could keep track of where they were (and count how many were there).

All thestrals accounted for, she quickly found the young one that seemed fond of her; he (she assumed it was a colt) was nuzzling her. "Hello there, Hamish," she cooed to him as she offered him a carrot. It was a name she'd given him based on his tendency to follow her around. She began stroking his mane.

[Leo Sakurai]

With the Forbidden Forest restored to its original condition following the massive fire in early November, Leo had gone back to using his usual route for his weekend morning runs. The long meandering circuit brought him to the edges of the school grounds, round the Great Lake and all the way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It made for good training, and the scenery was varied and breathtaking at certain points. Still, the sheer length of the circuit meant that few bothered with the full route.

Continuing down the footpath, Leo maintained his pace as his breath condensed into little clouds in the cold morning air. Coming up ahead was the paddock: a place he rarely visited outside of his morning runs, having never taken Care of Magical Creatures as an elective. Nonetheless, he did know a bit about the magical beasts there from the books he had read, and from observing the other students caring for the beasts at the paddock whenever he passed by.

The student on duty today was Astrid Osborne, a Third-Year from Hufflepuff. Though she towered over practically everyone at Hogwarts, she had a gentle disposition, and the magical beasts seemed to like her quite a bit. In particular, one of the thestrals – a young colt – seemed particular fond of her.

“Good morning, Osborne-san,” Leo called when he was within earshot, and he bobbed his head down and up in greeting. “Isn’t there anyone else helping you out today?” he asked, nothing that there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the vicinity. Not everyone could see thestrals – a fact that he didn’t realise until he read about it – and for that reason some of the younger or less experienced students were usually paired up with someone who could. Not that Astrid seemed to need much help; she seemed quite used to the work, and had even came up with a way to keep track of the invisible creatures by threading flowers into their manes.

[Astrid Osborne]

Astrid inclined her head to look up at Leo. She didn't really know the older boy, but it wasn't at all surprising that he would know her--everyone knew her because of how she stood out.

"Hullo," she replied. "I think I've seen you before, but I don't think we've formally met? You can just call me Astrid, I've never really liked going by my surname."

"No, it seems I'm on my own today," she confirmed. "Not many students like getting up this early on a Saturday morning, especially when they tend to stay up late on Friday nights. I don't mind it though, I can do the work myself." She looked down at the colt, or at least at the seemingly-empty space it occupied, as she fed it another carrot. "Can you see them?"



I considered using an English-to-Scottish translator for this, but the loss in readability outweighed the novelty.

[Leo Sakurai]

“Hai, I don’t think so,” Leo agreed; considering how much he stood out as one of the few East Asian students at Hogwarts, he reckoned she would have known him had they been properly introduced. “I’m Leo. Nice to meet you, Astrid-san.” The honorific wasn’t required, but Leo doubted anyone knew enough of his culture to understand the subtle nuances behind why he would use or omit it. He could not use it entirely, but it just felt weird to him to address his seniors by name without any honorifics. And so for simplicity’s sake and to prevent any misunderstandings, he just opted to use them in most situations.

His guess about Astrid being the only student on duty this morning turned out to be right. “Yes, that is very true,” he replied with a chuckle. “Most people don’t want to wake up early during the weekends. Maybe they would prefer if our Common Room and dorms were deeper underground, so the morning sun wouldn’t wake them from their sleep.”

Perhaps sensing how he was looking at the ‘empty space’ before her, Astrid seemed to have caught on to the fact that he could see the thestrals. “Yes, I can, although I’m not sure why,” he confirmed as he shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. It had been that way ever since his possession by Doumeki, back when he had been in Japan. Or maybe it was because the mental connection between him and his twin sister had been re-established then, and his sister – being a Seer – had seen and understood death as a result of her prophetic visions. Either way, it seemed awfully strange to share such information that could potentially cause alarm – or make Astrid think that he was a weirdo or something – so he chose to gloss over it

“But the ‘why’ isn’t important,” he said as he steered the subject of the conversation elsewhere. “Many people who can see thestrals don’t like the way they look because they seem fierce and scary. But how are they different from other animals like lions or wolves?” He reached out tentatively and slowly towards the thestral colt, ensuring that it could see his hand approaching, before finally touching it and stroking its mane. “And I actually think they look quite cool,” he said, as the colt let out a contented whinny. Due to their gaunt features, thestrals weren’t conventionally attractive creatures (if they were even considered attractive in the first place, although some might appreciate their edgy and dark aesthetic). And it was their misunderstood nature that had fascinated Leo when he first heard of these creatures.

Considering how he had already clocked quite a considerable distance for his run, he spontaneously decided on a change of plans. “I’m not sure what I can do, but is there anything I can help you with?” he offered.

[Astrid Osborne]

"I can't see them myself, I've only got drawings to go by," Astrid admitted. "I suppose I'm fortunate in that sense, though I still wish I could see them, particularly this one." She skritched behind its ears as a carrot disappeared into its mouth. "Beauty is subjective. I care for everything and everyone until they give me a reason not to. Especially beasts that don't hurl insults your way."

Leo's offer of assistance gave her an idea. "Actually, yes--can you tell me whether little Hamish here is a filly or a colt? Up til now, I've just assumed it was a colt." She actually blushed a little. "I wasn't comfortable just, you know, feeling around its nether region to determine that for myself."

[Leo Sakurai]

Leo nodded thoughtfully as Astrid revealed that she – like most people of her age – couldn’t see thestrals. The same couldn’t be said of the older students though, for the Second Wizarding War had left its mark on many of them, especially the Seventh Years. During his morning runs, Leo had noticed that a few of the older students who were tasked to help out at the paddock could perceive thestrals, and he could only imagine what they had gone through.

Astrid’s philosophy was so straightforward and refreshing that he couldn’t help but smile. “People like you are very rare,” he said, a hint of wistfulness in his voice. Had he ever been as innocent and optimistic as she was? Sure, people said that he was nice too, but he wasn’t always genuinely nice to others. Sometimes it was societal pressure that compelled him to do what was so-called ‘right’. Sometimes he was just afraid that he’d come across as rude or combative. And he knew it – only he knew it, and the hidden truth only served to make him feel worse, like a hot coal that he tried to hide in his bare hands.

He was overthinking things again, as he tended to do. Dismissing the bad thoughts from his mind, he let out a sigh. “I hope you’ll never change no matter what happens. The world needs more kind people like you.”

Astrid took up his offer to help almost immediately, and the request was something that had never occurred to him before. “Y–Yes, I can do that,” he replied, somewhat caught off-guard, but he got his answer after a quick glance. “You’re right, Hamish is a colt.” he confirmed. “I suppose it’s a fortunate thing after all that I can see thestrals. It’s probably not a good idea to… um… check in that way.”

Abruptly, a parable came to mind, prompted by the situation they were in. “Well actually… I can’t say for sure now that it’s fortunate that you can’t see thestrals, or unfortunate that I can,” he mused aloud. “Ningen banji Saiou ga uma.” The Japanese idiom flowed smoothly from his tongue, so familiar he was with the tale behind it. “It’s a story about an old man called Saiou who lost his horse. Everyone felt bad for Saiou, but he didn’t feel sad about the loss at all. A few days later the horse came back with a wild horse that was very fast and strong. Everyone congratulated Saiou, but he said that it might not be a good thing. And sure enough, the next day, his son tried to tame the wild horse, but was thrown off and broke his leg. Again, everyone felt bad for Saiou, but he still didn’t see it as a bad thing.”

Leo allowed a moment for the story and its plot twists to sink in before continuing. “I think you might already know where this is going. Anyway, soon after that, the country went to war and all able-bodied men were conscripted. Saiou was old and his son was injured, so they were spared. And that’s where the tale usually ends, although it could probably go on forever.” With that, he shrugged, an admittance that Saiou’s story was a lot more complex and nuanced than the usual children’s tales that ended with the main characters living happily ever after. “Sometimes it’s difficult to say whether we’re in a fortunate or unfortunate situation, because anything could happen. We can only try to make the most of what we have… but sometimes it’s not easy, isn’t it?”

[Astrid Osborne]

Astrid shrugged. "My philosophy is that it's up to each of us to make the world a place that we'd want to live in. I know some view me as an undesirable just because of my heritage, but I wouldn't wish anyone to ever feel unwanted, especially not because of something they couldn't control, like how they look."

She smiled when Leo confirmed Hamish's sex. "Thank you. I suppose I really should've confirmed that before naming him...it would just feel wrong to change their name at this point. I guess I had a sneaking suspicion that I can't really explain. Only one thestral ever walks right up to me and nuzzles me every time I come, and that's why I felt inspired to name him in the first place."

Leo's parable made her think for a long moment. "That's an interesting perspective I'd never thought about. Certainly things are clearer in hind-sight, but if we're always second-guessing whether something is fortunate or not, that feels...passive, somehow. If you decide that something is unfortunate, you may feel more motivated to take steps to improve the situation. But if you're unable to decide whether something is fortunate or unfortunate, you may not feel compelled to act. I think I'd prefer to trust my emotions and instincts and have my life reflect the consequences of my choices, whatever they may be, than to be the sapling that blows this way or that and can only hope that their frequent swaying will make them more resilient."

She gave Hamish one last head-pat before she opened the gate, pushed her wheelbarrow through, and closed it behind her, then stepped toward Leo so she was standing at a more comfortable conversational distance. She had one extra flower left over in her wheelbarrow, of the ones she'd been threading into the thestrals' manes to keep track of them. Smirking, and feeling mischievous, she picked it up and leaned forward to thread it over Leo's ear. "There, now the flower's not wasted," she said.

[Leo Sakurai]

Astrid’s words about people viewing her as undesirable due to her heritage hit hard. It was familiar to Leo, all too familiar: the whispers about him being a Metamorphmagus, his expulsion from Mahoutokoro because of the curse on his bloodline. But he could see her determination, a force more powerful than the discrimination she faced. Her determination not only to prove her haters wrong, but to protect others like her who were just as unfairly judged.

“That is very noble of you, even if it isn’t a burden someone of your age should shoulder,” he replied. Hers was a strength he didn’t have, and perhaps it was something about himself that he had to change if he wanted to grow as a person. “It makes me feel ashamed for not standing up for anyone before, not even myself. So if you need someone to share the load, I’ll be there. I’ll make that promise to you, and to myself.” It would be difficult, of course – thus far he had always toed the line, doing what the adults told him to, never talking back, and avoiding conflict as much as he could. Admittedly he had his little moments of rebellion – such as changing his hair colour to assert his individuality – though by and large he had always bowed to societal expectations and norms. But now that he was no longer in Japan, perhaps he could have a fresh start.

“Daijoubu desu, it’s a minor thing and I’m glad to be of help,” he replied when Astrid thanked him for confirming that Hamish was indeed a colt. “You must have a really good intuition or empathy then,” he offered. “Maybe subconsciously you were able to pick out something about Hamish’s behaviour that clued you in,” he added with a shrug. “It’s just my wild guess. I don’t know enough about caring for creatures, unfortunately.”

Astrid’s take on the story behind the idiom took Leo by surprise. “Masaka…” he said as he pondered over her words, before it all clicked. All along he merely saw it as a cautionary tale telling people not to get carried away when they were lucky, and to not feel down when things didn’t go well. But she had quite rightly pointed out that it was a passive approach to life, and that it was all right to acknowledge a bad situation as long as one was willing to act and make things better. “I see… I think I understand now. You’re right, and looking back, I have been drifting along in life, not knowing what to do.”

But what could you have done? the voice inside his head clamoured. You were just a pawn of fate, pushed around by forces far more powerful than what most people could even imagine. Your ancestors never managed to subdue Doumeki. What could you – with your weak magic – possibly accomplish?

Still, things didn’t hit rock bottom for him despite the near-catastrophe. And that was in itself a glimmer of hope that his fate was still in his hands.

There was no point burdening another with his sob story, so Leo just shook his head. “Maybe I was too overwhelmed to see things clearly, but you’ve given me a lot to think about.” A smile hovered over his lips, though there was a hint of weariness to it. “Thank you so much for that,” he finished with a slight bow to convey his gratitude.

Leo watched as Astrid gave Hamish one last pat on the head before she wrapped things up. The thestral’s wide eyes stayed on her, and though Leo couldn’t tell for sure, there was what appeared to be a look of affection and longing in those white pupil-less eyes.

“All done?” Leo asked as Astrid closed the gate behind her, her wheelbarrow in tow. Unexpectedly, the younger student gave a mischievous smirk – the only hint that she was about to do something that spontaneously came to mind – before plucking the last flower from the wheelbarrow and threading it over his ear. Surprised by this gesture, Leo’s eyes lit up as he let out a cheerful laugh. “Thank you, Astrid-san,” he began, just as an idea came to mind. Closing his eyes, he focused for a moment… and within moments his hair colour began to shift, turning into a bright shade of pastel green to complement the flower. “Just a fun little trick that I know,” he explained. “A flower needs green leaves to bring out their beauty. I know that I may not seem like much, but if you need any help, I’ll be more than happy to be your green leaf.”