Going Home (Selah)

[Dorian Innes]

It was late, nearing two in the morning, and Dorian knew it was reckless, brazen, perhaps even stupid to appear uninvited and unannounced, yet he couldn’t wait any longer. Once he had finished with the dance and ensured the students were safely back in their dorms, he left Hogwarts immediately. Seeing Selah tonight, after so long, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise. He could only hope she felt the same, or at least that he wasn’t unwelcome. Even if she was asleep, he had no choice; if he didn’t come tonight, he would lose his nerve entirely.

Dorian Apparated onto the doorstep with a soft pop and lingered there for a long moment, staring at the door without moving. With a heavy sigh, he pulled a cigarette from the packet he kept in his pocket just in case; he had hoped he’d quit by now. He had cut back significantly, but tonight his hands shook too much for restraint. He didn’t love that the smoke would cling to him, and part of him wished he had a flask of whisky instead, but this addiction was the lesser of two evils.

Lighting the cigarette, Dorian drew in long, slow drags, letting the smoke fill his lungs and steady the tremor in his chest before exhaling sharply. When he finished, he dropped the stub to the ground, tamped it out with his boot, and then vanished it entirely. Bracing himself for what he needed to do, Dorian raised his hand and knocked on the door, every second stretching, every heartbeat pounding in his ears, fully aware that the moment she answered that there would be no turning back.